Binondo Manila: Where Every Street Smells Like Fortune and Fish Sauce – Binondo, Manila—Dragons, Discounts, and Dim Sum Diplomacy

Bohiney Insight into Binondo, Manila

Binondo, Manila—Dragons, Discounts, and Dim Sum Diplomacy

1. Binondo: where dragons guard the temples and also offer you a great deal on knock-off watches.

2. The air smells like prosperity, soy sauce, and the subtle panic of a miscalculated discount.

3. Every restaurant claims to be “the oldest,” “the most authentic,” or “frequented by ghosts of emperors.”

4. You’ll never leave hungry—but you may leave five pounds heavier and one wallet lighter.

5. Crosswalks are theoretical; pedestrian rules are based on kung fu reflexes.

6. Grandmothers here can cook, bargain, and judge you—all in the same breath.

7. Binondo is where TikTok influencers meet tai chi masters and both leave confused.

8. Love letters are written in soy sauce and delivered with siopao.

9. Every alley holds a hidden gem or a mahjong den—or both.

10. Fireworks here go off during New Year, weddings, and anytime someone gets exact change.

11. Even the pigeons eat better in Binondo than most office workers.

12. Street signs change language mid-sentence, like your bilingual auntie after two glasses of rice wine.

13. The only traffic rules are: honk, hope, and don’t hit the duck delivery.

14. Binondo: where ancient traditions meet modern chaos and trade phone numbers.

15. You came for the dumplings, but stayed for the unsolicited financial advice from your waiter.

 

Binondo Manila: Where Every Street Smells Like Fortune and Fish Sauce - Manila News Intelligencer Design a satirical representation of the Manila News Intelligencer headquarters in the Digital Age, with the theme 'Satire in Cyberspace'. The buildin21
Manila News-Intelligencer Binondo Manila: Where Every Street Smells Like Fortune and Fish Sauce – A representation of the Manila News Intelligencer headquarters in the Digital Age, with the theme ‘Satire in Cyberspace’.  

By Lourdes Tiu

Lourdes Tiu is a celebrated satirist with over a decade of experience, has been featured in major publications like Mad Magazine and The Onion for her incisive wit and has served as a keynote speaker at the National Satire Writers Conference, establishing her as a trusted authority in political and social satire. Lourdes' educational journey began at the University of Chicago, where she majored in Political Science, providing her with a deep understanding of the political landscape that she so brilliantly critiques in her work. She further honed her craft by completing a Master’s degree in Creative Writing from Columbia University, with a focus on satire and comedic writing, under the mentorship of some of the country’s most celebrated humorists.