Jeepney Drivers Elect Their Own President, Establish Competing Government Entity
Manila Now Has Dual Government: Official and Jeepney-Based Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report from Manila, where an unexpected government coup has occurred: jeepney drivers
Infrastructure Project Delays Now Officially a Cultural Institution, Receives UNESCO Recognition
Government Announces 47-Year-Old Bridge “Almost Complete,” Promises Completion in 2089 Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report from Manila, where infrastructure delays have achieved such cultural
Twitter Cancel Culture Reaches Peak Philippines, Destroys Entire Political Career Based on Single Tweet from 2009
Politician Apologizes for Tweet Describing Food as “Tasty,” Nation Demands Resignation Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report from Manila, where someone discovered a politician’s decade-old
Philippine Healthcare System Declares “Death Is Now Optional,” Announces New Copay Structure
Patients Relieved to Discover That Bankruptcy Can Be Avoided Through Judicious Mortality Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat bring you news from the Philippine healthcare system,
Philippine Government Announces New Bureaucratic Procedure Requiring Permits for Obtaining Permits
Officials Celebrate Red Tape That Is Now Visible From Space Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat bring you this dispatch from Manila’s government offices, where complexity
Manila Heatwave Now Classified as Lethal Force, Officials Declare War on Thermometer
Temperature Exceeded “Unholy” Threshold, Breaking Scale That Only Goes to 50 Degrees Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report from Manila, where the weather has achieved
Celebrity Politician Now Running for Office Based Entirely on Instagram Aesthetics
Campaign Strategy Consists of Well-Lit Photos and Zero Policy Positions Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat cover the 2024 Philippine elections, where one candidate’s entire platform
Philippine Airlines Announces New Boarding Strategy: Mass Chaos as Official Policy
Efficiency Replaced with “Authentic Tropical Disorder,” Company Claims Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat bring you this traveler’s dispatch from Manila’s airport, where organized boarding has
Corruption Now Listed on Stock Market as “Stable Investment Opportunity”
Officials Celebrate Predictable, Dividend-Paying Dishonesty Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report from Manila’s financial district, where corruption has finally achieved what it always aspired to
Manila Traffic Now Classified as Weapon of Mass Disruption by UN
Gridlock Officially Exceeds Speed of Light in Reverse Direction Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report from the streets of Manila, where traffic has officially achieved
Escape from the Backseat Counselor: How Pasay Passengers Cope with TMI
Strategies for Survival When Your Ride-Share Driver Starts Discussing Their Kidney Stones The Passenger's Silent StruggleThe Pasay Uber passenger develops a sophisticated set of defensive mechanisms
Manila Local Restaurants Napkins: The Single Napkin That Was Aggressively Rationed and Guarded By the Server
Why Local Dining Service Treats Basic Amenities as Scarce, Highly Valuable Commodities to Be Strictly Controlled Manila Local Restaurants Napkins: The Scarce Resource**Local Restaurants** in Manila
Muntinlupa Unscheduled Delivery Delays: The High-Stakes Civic Crime of Temporal Non-Compliance and Logistical Chaos
A Study in Logistics Protocol Breach, Punctuality Deviation Anxiety, and the Non-Negotiable ETA The Logistics Protocol Breach MandateIn Muntinlupa City, where the timely arrival of every
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Chef Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Flavor): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Sandwich
When Your Food System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Chef Vetting
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Paper Shredder: The ‘Aggressive Destruction’ and the Shame of the Simple Rip
When Your Document Tool Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Destruction'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Paper
Makati Corporate Employee Accountability Strategy (The Aggressive Forgiveness): The Aggressive Exclusion and the Shame of the Simple Consequence
When Your Staff Integration Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive ExclusionMakati **Corporate Employee Accountability Strategy** is an aggressively expensive,
The Fiber Optic Fracas: A Satirical Guide to Surviving QC’s Internet Installation Wars
An exposé on the high-stakes battle for 'unli-fiber,' the cryptic scheduling of the installation crew, and the digital disconnect of modern city life. The Pursuit of
Driven to Distraction: Pasay’s Uber Drivers Who Tell You Everything
Navigating the Intersection of Commute Stress and Unsolicited Personal History in Ride-Sharing The Personal History as GPSIn Pasay, the Uber map is secondary to the driver's
Manila Home Appliances (Electric Fan): The Fan That Only Worked When You Tilted It Backward and Put a Book Under the Base
Why Local Cooling Technology Requires Specific, Aggressive Physical Manipulation and Support to Function Manila Electric Fans: The Tilting RitualThe **Electric Fan** is a vital, non-negotiable appliance
Muntinlupa Attempts at Being an Astronomer: The High-Stakes Intellectual Failure of Celestial Chaos and Orbital Asymmetry
A Study in Observation Protocol Breach, Constellation Deviation Anxiety, and the Non-Negotiable Structured Universe The Observation Protocol Breach MandateIn Muntinlupa City, where the cosmos is rigidly
Makati Office Emergency Lighting System Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Lumen and the Shame of the Simple Torch
When Your Safety Marker Is a Vicious Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Managed by a High-Cost Consultant The Aggressive LumenMakati **Office Emergency Lighting System Vetting Drama**
Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 15th Century Italian Alchemist: The ‘Aggressive Transmutation’ and the Shame of the Simple Mixture
When Your Abstract Theory Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Transmutation'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 15th Century Italian Alchemist** is
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Coffee Bean Sourcing Strategy (The Aggressive Aroma): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Grind
When Your Coffee System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Coffee Bean
Makati High-End Personal Smart Lighting System Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Illumination’ and the Shame of the Simple Switch
When Your Light Tool Is a High-Cost, Vetted Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Protected The 'Aggressive Illumination'Makati **High-End Personal Smart Lighting Systems** are aggressively expensive,
The Faucet Water Pressure Hypochondria: The Law Stating That Water Pressure Drops by 127% the Moment You Get Shampoo in Your Eyes
A satire on inconsistent water utility, arguing that residential plumbing is equipped with a psychological sensor that detects vulnerability (i.e., when a person is soaping
Bureau of Education Discovers Reading Comprehension Crisis – Solves Problem by Making Shorter Books
New mandatory curriculum features books with fewer than 50 words; calls it “accessibility improvement”; actually just reduces literacy requirements Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat Bureau of
Manila Traffic Authority Introduces “Dynamic Parking Spaces” – Legal to Park Anywhere For 47 Minutes
New initiative allows cars to occupy any street for less than an hour; encourages spontaneous vehicle placement Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat Manila Traffic Authority Introduces
Bureau of Internal Revenue Introduces Tax Category for “Imaginary Income” – Collected $400 Million Last Year
New classification allows wealthy citizens to pay taxes on money they claim they’ll earn someday; government collects anyway Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat Bureau of Internal
Philippine Government Approves “Sustainable Budget Deficit” As Official Economic Strategy
Officials declare negative spending sustainable if framed positively; debt reconceptualized as “financial opportunities” Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat Philippine Government Approves “Sustainable Budget Deficit” As Official
Metro Manila Environmental Department Announces Victory Over Pollution – Moves Monitoring Stations Away From Polluted Areas
New strategy improves air quality statistics by measuring cleaner air in previously unmonitored neighborhoods Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat Metro Manila Environmental Department Announces Victory Over
Philippines’ Anti-Corruption Agency Indicted for Corruption; Appoints Committee to Investigate Itself; Committee Self-Investigates
Ombudsman’s office discovers it may have stolen taxpayer money; responds by creating oversight body it will oversee Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat Philippines’ Anti-Corruption Agency Indicted
Metro Manila Introduces “Reverse Rush Hour” – Businesses Encouraged to Stop Operating During Peak Hours
Transit Authority mandates business closures during 6-9 AM and 5-8 PM to reduce traffic; accidentally eliminates work culture Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat Metro Manila Introduces
Philippine Healthcare System Introduces “Imaginative Diagnosis” – Doctors Encouraged to Treat Diseases Patients Don’t Have
Ministry claims preventive healthcare approach; patients actually receive unnecessary medications for non-existent conditions Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat Philippine Healthcare System Introduces “Imaginative Diagnosis” – Doctors
DPWH Announces Revolutionary “Schrödinger’s Infrastructure” – Projects Both Built and Unbuilt Until Audited
Department claims innovative approach solves budget problems through quantum accounting Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat DPWH Announces Revolutionary “Schrödinger’s Infrastructure” – Projects Both Built and Unbuilt
The Pasay Confessional: Riding with the Uber Therapists
A Deep Dive into Pasay's Ride-Sharing Scene, Where Every Driver is a TMI Life Coach Buckle Up for an Existential CrisisA ride-sharing trip in Pasay City
Muntinlupa Failed Attempts at Being a Journalist: The High-Stakes Intellectual Failure of Fact Asymmetry and Subjective Bias
A Study in Reporting Protocol Breach, Narrative Deviation Anxiety, and the Non-Negotiable Symmetrical Truth The Reporting Protocol Breach MandateIn Muntinlupa City, where news must possess the