Skip to content
  • February 18, 2026 12:01 am

Manila News

Manila Satire & Insight

  • Metro-Manila
    • Caloocan
    • Las-Pinas
    • Makati
    • Malabon
    • Mandaluyong
    • Marikina
    • Muntinlupa
    • Navotas
    • Paranaque
    • Pasay
    • Pasig
    • Quezon City
    • San Juan
    • Valenzuela
  • Manila
  • Philippines
  • Asia
  • Technology
  • Business
  • World News
Top Tags
  • satire
  • Satirical Journalism
  • Manila
  • makati
  • PHILIPPINES
  • humor
  • funny

Hot News

Valenzuela Conventions Taguig Weird Dreams San Juan Public Transportation Pateros Roommates: The High-Stakes Domestic Treaty, the Passive-Aggressive Chore War, and the Case of the Missing Dishwashing Liquid Pasay Vacation Disasters: The Family Trip Where The Beach Resort Aggressively Tried To Charge For “Ambient Ocean Noise”
Valenzuela

Valenzuela Conventions

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu
Taguig

Taguig Weird Dreams

Feb 18, 2026 Bill Wittliff
San Juan

San Juan Public Transportation

Feb 18, 2026 Tina Mercado
Pateros

Pateros Roommates: The High-Stakes Domestic Treaty, the Passive-Aggressive Chore War, and the Case of the Missing Dishwashing Liquid

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu
Pasay

Pasay Vacation Disasters: The Family Trip Where The Beach Resort Aggressively Tried To Charge For “Ambient Ocean Noise”

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu
  • Latest
  • Popular
  • Trending
  • Valenzuela
    Valenzuela Conventions
  • Taguig
    Taguig Weird Dreams
  • San Juan
    San Juan Public Transportation
  • Pateros
    Pateros Roommates: The High-Stakes Domestic Treaty, the Passive-Aggressive Chore War, and the Case of the Missing Dishwashing Liquid
  • Asia News Philippines News
    Asia Week Ahead: Key Economic and Market Developments
  • Manila News Metro-Manila Philippines News
    Filipinas Turn Norwegian Gardens into ‘Balikbayan Box’ Farms
  • Manila News Metro-Manila Pasig Philippines News
    Ultra’s New Sport: Synchronized Office Chair Racing
  • Manila News Metro-Manila Philippines News Quezon City San Juan Taguig Valenzuela
    Philippine’s Cloud-Seeding Project Goes Awry: Accidentally seeds popcorn instead of rain.
  • Valenzuela
    Valenzuela Conventions
  • Taguig
    Taguig Weird Dreams
  • San Juan
    San Juan Public Transportation
  • Pateros
    Pateros Roommates: The High-Stakes Domestic Treaty, the Passive-Aggressive Chore War, and the Case of the Missing Dishwashing Liquid
Valenzuela

Valenzuela Conventions

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

From Anime to Business: The Congested, Cosplayed Congregations of Valenzuela The Polo Park "Pop Culture" Cosplay CrushA regional anime and gaming convention takes over a hall

Taguig

Taguig Weird Dreams

Feb 18, 2026 Bill Wittliff

The Subconscious Absurdity of the Overstimulated Mind The Boardroom Nightmare with a Surreal TwistYou're presenting the Q3 financials to the board. Everything is normal, until you

San Juan

San Juan Public Transportation

Feb 18, 2026 Tina Mercado

The Philosophical Jeepney Driver Who Holds Court on Life, Love, and Traffic The Mobile Salon Boarding a jeepney on its route from San Juan to Quiapo

Pateros

Pateros Roommates: The High-Stakes Domestic Treaty, the Passive-Aggressive Chore War, and the Case of the Missing Dishwashing Liquid

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

An Examination of the Confined, Adult Living Arrangement Where Conflict is Inevitable and the Only Unbroken Rule is the Strict, Silent Division of Shared Food The

Pasay

Pasay Vacation Disasters: The Family Trip Where The Beach Resort Aggressively Tried To Charge For “Ambient Ocean Noise”

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Why Local Getaways Often Include Hidden, Aggressive Fees For Naturally Occurring Environmental Features The Aggressive Ocean Noise FeeA **Vacation** in Pasay is an aggressive pursuit of

Paranaque

Parañaque Karaoke Nights: The Tito Who Sang “My Way” for the Fifth Time

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Why Local Singing Sessions Are High-Volume, High-Emotion, and Mandatory Social Events Parañaque Karaoke Nights: The Soundtrack of the SuburbKaraoke in Parañaque is far more than a

Marikina

Marikina First Day on the Job: The High-Stakes Corporate Audit of Punctuality and Procedure Adherence

Feb 18, 2026 Shaiyenne Garcia

A Study in Onboarding Anxiety, Desk Symmetry Protocol, and the Non-Negotiable Lunch Break Schedule The Onboarding Anxiety MandateIn Marikina City, a **First Day on the Job**

Metro-Manila

San Juan’s Dense Architecture: The Aggressive Vertical and Horizontal Crowding That Aggressively Maximizes Aggressive Space Utilization

Feb 18, 2026 Rheychell Gomez

How Every Aggressive Square Meter Of The Smallest City Is Aggressively Exploited For Aggressive Residential and Aggressive Commercial Gain The Aggressive War Against Empty SpaceSan Juan’s

Philippines News

Pasig’s Corporate Canyon: The High-Stress, High-Rise World of Ortigas Center

Feb 18, 2026 Sophia Rodriguez

A Study in Vertical Ambition, Coffee Dependence, and the Illusion of Success The Architecture of Vertical AmbitionPasig City's **Ortigas Center** is less a district and more

Philippines News

Malabon’s Sinking History: The Struggle Between Heritage and Subsidence

Feb 18, 2026 Rachel Diaz

A Study in Architectural Drowning, Historical Resilience, and the Fight Against the Tide The Crisis of Architectural DrowningMalabon is built on the profound, physical struggle between

Mandaluyong

Mandaluyong Wedding Chaos: The Inevitable Duel Between the Bride’s Photographer and the Groom’s Video Guy

Feb 18, 2026 Jocephyne Santos

Experts Suggest That Every Local Wedding Requires a Full-Time Crisis Manager Just to Handle the Unscheduled Karaoke Session and the Extended Family Drama Mandaluyong Wedding Chaos:

Malabon

Malabon’s Latest Epidemic: The ‘Budget Bowl’ Haircut Crisis

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

City Hairdressers Declare State of Emergency After Mass Production of Badly Layered and Unintentionally Asymmetrical Cuts Malabon's Barbershop Rebellion: The Rise of the Asymmetrical DisasterA shocking

Makati

Makati Corporate Security Protocol Strategy: The Aggressive Surveillance and the Shame of the Simple Keycard

Feb 18, 2026 Mykaelah Santos

When Your Safety Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive SurveillanceMakati **Corporate Security Protocol Strategy** is an aggressively expensive, high-cost

Makati

Makati Office Desk Mat/Blotter Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Surface and the Shame of the Simple Piece of Paper

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

When Your Workspace Is a Vicious Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Managed by a High-Cost Consultant The Aggressive SurfaceMakati **Office Desk Mat/Blotter Vetting Drama** is an

Makati

Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 17th Century Alchemist: The ‘Aggressive Transmutation’ and the Shame of the Simple Chemistry

Feb 18, 2026 Mykaelah Santos

When Your Science Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Transmutation'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 17th Century Alchemist** is a complex,

Makati

Makati High-End Personal Mobile Phone Case Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Protection’ and the Shame of the Simple Bumper

Feb 18, 2026 Sophia Rodriguez

When Your Handset Cover Is a High-Cost, Vetted Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Protected The 'Aggressive Protection'Makati **High-End Personal Mobile Phone Cases** are aggressively expensive,

Makati

Makati Corporate Head Office Coffee Machine Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Extraction): The Aggressive Pressure and the Shame of the Simple Drip

Feb 18, 2026 Vanessa Sandoval

When Your Caffeine Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive PressureMakati **Corporate Head Office Coffee Machine Vetting Strategy** is

Las-Pinas

Las Piñas Water Shortage Drama: The Hoarding Panic, The Low Pressure Frustration, and the Bathing Contingencies

Feb 18, 2026 Christine Torres

When the Tap Runs Dry and Every Drop Becomes a Precious Resource for Domestic Survival and Hygiene The Water Anxiety CrisisIn Las Piñas, 'Water Shortages' are

Caloocan

The Mandatory Post-Prandial Physical Cessation Period

Feb 18, 2026 Mykaelah Santos

Satire on the required waiting time after eating a heavy meal before being allowed to perform any physical activity, calculated to be 14.5 hours, arguing

Quezon City

The ATM Withdrawal Time Tax: The Exact Fee Charged by the Universe for Using an Automated Teller Machine

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

A satire on the experience of using an ATM, arguing that the machine doesn't just charge a transaction fee, but also a Time Tax (an

Valenzuela

Valenzuela Weird Dreams

Feb 17, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

From Flying Jeepneys to Talking Fish: The Surreal Subconscious of Valenzuela Sleepers The Monumento Flying Jeepney ChaseA common Valenzuelano stress dream: you are running through the

Taguig

Taguig Tech Support

Feb 17, 2026 Elyzzah Cruz

The Circle of Hell Dedicated to "Have You Tried Turning It Off and On Again?" The Prelude: Navigating the Phone Tree LabyrinthYour laptop, the engine of

San Juan

San Juan Karaoke Nights

Feb 17, 2026 Vanessa Sandoval

The Uncle Who Only Sings "My Way" and the Inevitable, Tragic Key Change The Inevitable Selection Every family gathering in San Juan with a karaoke machine

Pateros

Pateros Internet Challenges: The High-Stakes Pursuit of Viral Fame and the Inevitable, Hilarious Failure of the Local Participants

Feb 17, 2026 Jocephyne Santos

An Examination of the Digital Trend That Forces Suburbanites to Attempt Physically Improbable Feats for Clicks and the Shame of the Low View Count The Fifteen

Pasay

Pasay In-Laws: The Mother-In-Law Who Aggressively Critiques Your Rice-Cooking Method Via Video Call

Feb 17, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Why Familial Criticism Has Evolved Into Remote, Technologically-Mediated Surveillance Focused Aggressively On Starch Preparation The Aggressive Rice-Cooking AuditIn Pasay, the presence of **In-Laws** often transcends physical

Paranaque

Parañaque Business Registration: The Permit That Needed Six Signatures and a Bribe (of Snacks)

Feb 17, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Why Entrepreneurship in the South Requires Bureaucratic Endurance and Strategic Generosity Parañaque Business Registration: The Bureaucratic GauntletLaunching a business in Parañaque is a dream that must

Marikina

Marikina Home Renovation Nightmares: The High-Stakes Domestic Failure of Unscheduled Dust and Disorder

Feb 17, 2026 Khristynne Martinez

A Study in Contractor Protocol Breach, Permit Paperwork Panic, and the Non-Negotiable Clean Construction Zone The Contractor Protocol Breach MandateIn Marikina City, where every change must

Metro-Manila

San Juan’s Aggressive Proximity: The Aggressive Logistical Reliance On Manila and QC That Aggressively Fuels Its Aggressive Identity Crisis

Feb 17, 2026 Dalagang Filipina Panganiban

How The Tiny City Aggressively Borrows Aggressive Resources And Aggressively Deflects Aggressive Problems From Its Aggressive Giant Neighbors The Aggressive Satellite ExistenceSan Juan’s aggressive geographical location—aggressively

Philippines News

Malabon’s Culinary Burden: The Non-Negotiable Supremacy of Pancit Malabon

Feb 17, 2026 Carla Reyes

A Study in Noodle Tyranny, Shrimp Obsession, and the Weight of Signature Dish Status The Tyranny of the Signature DishMalabon City's culinary identity is entirely, aggressively

Philippines News

Malabon’s Perpetual Flood: The City Where Water is the Permanent Infrastructure

Feb 17, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

A Study in Hydraulic Fatalism, Rubber Boot Commerce, and the Fluid Reality The Embrace of the Fluid RealityMalabon City is not occasionally flooded; it is perpetually,

Mandaluyong

Mandaluyong Weather Excuses: The Ability to Blame Everything from Missed Deadlines to Bad Hair on ‘The Humidity’ and the Trauma of the Sudden Unscheduled Downpour

Feb 17, 2026 Sophia Rodriguez

Office Workers Confirm That the Phrase 'Masyadong Mainit' Is a Valid and Unquestionable Reason for Canceling Any Non-Essential Activity Mandaluyong Weather Excuses: The Ability to Blame

Malabon

Malabon’s New City Hall is Now ‘Office Politics’ Training Ground

Feb 17, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Local Government Mandates Daily, Grudge-Based Team Building Exercises; Productivity Drops by 800% Malabon: Where Office Politics is a Mandatory City ServiceMalabon City, already famous for its

Malabon

Malabon Zoning Regulations: New Rule Mandates All New Buildings Must Be Shaped Like Slightly Outdated Filing Cabinets

Feb 17, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Ordinance Bans All Aesthetic Innovation, Insisting Architecture Must Reflect the Foundational Function of Bureaucracy Malabon's New Skyline: The Vertical File SystemMalabon City has launched the 'Architectural

Makati

Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Pencil/Pen Holder: The ‘Aggressive Organization’ and the Shame of the Simple Tin Can

Feb 17, 2026 Rheychell Gomez

When Your Stationery Vessel Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Organization'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Pencil/Pen

Makati

Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Blinds/Curtains: The ‘Aggressive Light Absorption’ and the Shame of the Simple Venetian Blind

Feb 17, 2026 Rachel Diaz

When Your Window Covering Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Sound Profile Is Viciously Vetted for Quiet The 'Aggressive Light Absorption'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening

Makati

Makati Corporate Social Media Strategy: The Aggressive Digital Identity and the Shame of the Simple Facebook Post

Feb 17, 2026 Shaiyenne Garcia

When Your Online Presence Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive Digital IdentityMakati **Corporate Social Media Strategy** is an aggressively

Posts pagination

1 2 … 78
Bohiney-Logo--
Funny Newsletter
Recent Posts
  • Valenzuela Conventions
  • Taguig Weird Dreams
  • San Juan Public Transportation
  • Pateros Roommates: The High-Stakes Domestic Treaty, the Passive-Aggressive Chore War, and the Case of the Missing Dishwashing Liquid
  • Pasay Vacation Disasters: The Family Trip Where The Beach Resort Aggressively Tried To Charge For “Ambient Ocean Noise”
  • Parañaque Karaoke Nights: The Tito Who Sang “My Way” for the Fifth Time
  • Marikina First Day on the Job: The High-Stakes Corporate Audit of Punctuality and Procedure Adherence
  • San Juan’s Dense Architecture: The Aggressive Vertical and Horizontal Crowding That Aggressively Maximizes Aggressive Space Utilization
  • Pasig’s Corporate Canyon: The High-Stress, High-Rise World of Ortigas Center
  • Malabon’s Sinking History: The Struggle Between Heritage and Subsidence
  • Mandaluyong Wedding Chaos: The Inevitable Duel Between the Bride’s Photographer and the Groom’s Video Guy
  • Malabon’s Latest Epidemic: The ‘Budget Bowl’ Haircut Crisis
  • Makati Corporate Security Protocol Strategy: The Aggressive Surveillance and the Shame of the Simple Keycard
  • Makati Office Desk Mat/Blotter Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Surface and the Shame of the Simple Piece of Paper
  • Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 17th Century Alchemist: The ‘Aggressive Transmutation’ and the Shame of the Simple Chemistry
  • Makati High-End Personal Mobile Phone Case Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Protection’ and the Shame of the Simple Bumper
  • Makati Corporate Head Office Coffee Machine Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Extraction): The Aggressive Pressure and the Shame of the Simple Drip
  • Las Piñas Water Shortage Drama: The Hoarding Panic, The Low Pressure Frustration, and the Bathing Contingencies
  • The Mandatory Post-Prandial Physical Cessation Period
  • The ATM Withdrawal Time Tax: The Exact Fee Charged by the Universe for Using an Automated Teller Machine
  • Valenzuela Weird Dreams
  • Taguig Tech Support
  • San Juan Karaoke Nights
  • Pateros Internet Challenges: The High-Stakes Pursuit of Viral Fame and the Inevitable, Hilarious Failure of the Local Participants
  • Pasay In-Laws: The Mother-In-Law Who Aggressively Critiques Your Rice-Cooking Method Via Video Call
RSS World Satire
  • Artificial Intelligence and Office Efficiency
  • Reverend Jesse Jackson Dies At Age 84
  • Augustus McCrae Dies at Age 95
  • Eileen Gu Guilty of “Treason” in Olympics
  • Emotional HMO Crisis
  • SAVE America Act Arrives Wearing A Reflective Vest
  • SAVE America Act: Installing A Lock
  • Valentine’s Day Better Than Christmas
  • Polymarket and the Defense Derivatives
  • Bring Your Daughter to Work Day

Archives

  • February 2026
  • January 2026
  • December 2025
  • November 2025
  • October 2025
  • September 2025
  • August 2025
  • July 2025
  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015

Categories

  • Asia News
  • Caloocan
  • Filipino Culture
  • Las-Pinas
  • Makati
  • Malabon
  • Mandaluyong
  • Manila
  • Manila Arts
  • Manila Business
  • Manila Entertainment
  • Manila Food
  • Manila Health
  • Manila News
  • Manila Politics
  • Manila Real Estate
  • Manila Science
  • Manila Style
  • Marikina
  • Metro-Manila
  • Muntinlupa
  • Navotas
  • Neighborhoods
  • Opinion
  • Our Newsstands
  • Our Partners
  • Paranaque
  • Pasay
  • Pasig
  • Pateros
  • Philippines News
  • Philippines Sports
  • Quezon City
  • Reports
  • San Juan
  • Schools
  • Streets
  • Taguig
  • Technology
  • Today
  • Valenzuela
  • World News

You missed

Valenzuela

Valenzuela Conventions

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu
Taguig

Taguig Weird Dreams

Feb 18, 2026 Bill Wittliff
San Juan

San Juan Public Transportation

Feb 18, 2026 Tina Mercado
Pateros

Pateros Roommates: The High-Stakes Domestic Treaty, the Passive-Aggressive Chore War, and the Case of the Missing Dishwashing Liquid

Feb 18, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Manila News-Intelligencer Newspaper
56 1103 Sgt. Esguerra Ave
Diliman, Quezon City
Metro Manila, Philippines

+6 (328) 835-4500

 

Disclaimer

Welcome to our Manila satire site, where reality takes a backseat! Our content is as satirical as traffic is congested in EDSA, so don’t take it too seriously. Find our disclaimer in every nook, from headers to footers, ensuring you’re in on the joke. Curious about our jesting journey? Our ‘About Us’ page spills the beans on our satirical saga. Plus, we’re fluent in satire schema markup, ensuring even the smartest search engines catch our comedic drift. Dive into our consistently tongue-in-cheek tone, but remember, it’s all in good fun!

Mission Statement

ManilaNews.com exists to deliver sharp, unapologetic satirical journalism that playfully twists the daily chaos of Philippine life into humorous commentary. Our mission is to amplify the absurd, challenge conventional narratives, and entertain readers through bold parody that reflects the nation’s political, cultural, and social realities. We craft fictional stories with purpose: to provoke thought, inspire laughter, and highlight the contradictions that shape our world. ManilaNews.com embraces satire not as escapism but as a lens for understanding truth through exaggeration. Our commitment is to creativity, critique, and comedic disruption—one outrageous headline at a time.

Manila News

Manila Satire & Insight

© Copyright 2020 Newsup. All Rights Reserved. by Themeansar

  • The London Prat