Skip to content
  • February 12, 2026 12:02 am

Manila News

Manila Satire & Insight

  • Metro-Manila
    • Caloocan
    • Las-Pinas
    • Makati
    • Malabon
    • Mandaluyong
    • Marikina
    • Muntinlupa
    • Navotas
    • Paranaque
    • Pasay
    • Pasig
    • Quezon City
    • San Juan
    • Valenzuela
  • Manila
  • Philippines
  • Asia
  • Technology
  • Business
  • World News
Top Tags
  • satire
  • Satirical Journalism
  • Manila
  • makati
  • PHILIPPINES
  • humor
  • funny

Hot News

Valenzuela Unexpected House Guests Taguig Gardening Mishaps San Juan Surprise Parties Pateros Sneezing Fits: The High-Volume, Public Spectacle and the Mandatory, Loud Community Response Parañaque Barangay Hall: The Place Where Permits Take Three Days and Three Forms
Valenzuela

Valenzuela Unexpected House Guests

Feb 12, 2026 Lourdes Tiu
Taguig

Taguig Gardening Mishaps

Feb 12, 2026 Sophia Rodriguez
San Juan

San Juan Surprise Parties

Feb 12, 2026 Mykaelah Santos
Pateros

Pateros Sneezing Fits: The High-Volume, Public Spectacle and the Mandatory, Loud Community Response

Feb 12, 2026 Maria Lopez
Paranaque

Parañaque Barangay Hall: The Place Where Permits Take Three Days and Three Forms

Feb 12, 2026 Lourdes Tiu
  • Latest
  • Popular
  • Trending
  • Valenzuela
    Valenzuela Unexpected House Guests
  • Taguig
    Taguig Gardening Mishaps
  • San Juan
    San Juan Surprise Parties
  • Pateros
    Pateros Sneezing Fits: The High-Volume, Public Spectacle and the Mandatory, Loud Community Response
  • Asia News Philippines News
    Asia Week Ahead: Key Economic and Market Developments
  • Manila News Metro-Manila Philippines News
    Filipinas Turn Norwegian Gardens into ‘Balikbayan Box’ Farms
  • Manila News Metro-Manila Pasig Philippines News
    Ultra’s New Sport: Synchronized Office Chair Racing
  • Manila News Metro-Manila Philippines News Quezon City San Juan Taguig Valenzuela
    Philippine’s Cloud-Seeding Project Goes Awry: Accidentally seeds popcorn instead of rain.
  • Valenzuela
    Valenzuela Unexpected House Guests
  • Taguig
    Taguig Gardening Mishaps
  • San Juan
    San Juan Surprise Parties
  • Pateros
    Pateros Sneezing Fits: The High-Volume, Public Spectacle and the Mandatory, Loud Community Response
Valenzuela

Valenzuela Unexpected House Guests

Feb 12, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

The "Biglaang Bisita" and the Scramble for Pandesal: Hospitality Under Duress in Valenzuela The Provincial Relative "Dropping By" from the Bus TerminalThe doorbell rings at 8

Taguig

Taguig Gardening Mishaps

Feb 12, 2026 Sophia Rodriguez

The Concrete Jungle's Struggle to Cultivate a Patch of Green The Assassination of the "Unkillable" Snake PlantInspired by the biophilic design of BGC lobbies, you decide

San Juan

San Juan Surprise Parties

Feb 12, 2026 Mykaelah Santos

The "SURPRISE!" That Surprised the Wrong Person: A Case of Misguided Enthusiasm The Ambush The plan was foolproof: wait for Miguel to get home from work,

Pateros

Pateros Sneezing Fits: The High-Volume, Public Spectacle and the Mandatory, Loud Community Response

Feb 12, 2026 Maria Lopez

An Examination of the Sudden, Explosive Auditory Event Where a Simple Allergy Transforms into a Full-Scale Emergency and a Demanding Social Ritual The Sudden, Chaotic Auditory

Paranaque

Parañaque Barangay Hall: The Place Where Permits Take Three Days and Three Forms

Feb 12, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Why Local Government Bureaucracy in the South Is a Test of Endurance and Paperwork Parañaque Barangay Hall: The Test of EnduranceThe **Barangay Hall** in Parañaque is

Manila

Manila Home Appliances (Water Heater): The Heater That Was Always Set to “Lukewarm,” Because “Hot” Was Considered Excessive

Feb 12, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Why Local Domestic Comfort Is Often Defined by Aggressive Moderation and Avoidance of Extremes Manila Water Heaters: The Lukewarm StandardThe **Water Heater** in a Manila home

Marikina

Marikina Appliance Mishaps: The High-Stakes Domestic Failure of Unscheduled Malfunction and Noise

Feb 12, 2026 Christine Torres

A Study in Maintenance Schedule Deviation, Unclean Operation Shame, and the Non-Negotiable Functionality The Maintenance Schedule Deviation MandateIn Marikina City, where every machine is expected to

Metro-Manila

Pasig’s Aggressive Art Scene: The Aggressive Push For Curated Creativity That Aggressively Rejects Spontaneity and Aggressively Embraces Corporate Sponsorship

Feb 12, 2026 Alyzzabeth David

How The City Aggressively Uses Public Art To Aggressively Signal Sophistication While Aggressively Controlling The Aesthetic Narrative The Aggressive Gallery of the StreetPasig is aggressively cultivating

Philippines News

Pasay’s Airport Chaos: The Gateway Where International Travel Goes to Stagnate

Feb 12, 2026 Rheychell Gomez

A Study in Terminal Frustration, Logistical Failure, and the Stress of Arrival The Perennial Stress of ArrivalPasay City is the reluctant host of the **Ninoy Aquino

Philippines News

Valenzuela’s Governance Performance: The Burden of Being the Model, Orderly City

Feb 12, 2026 Rachel Diaz

A Study in Civic Perfection, Administrative Showmanship, and the Lack of Excitement The Pressure of Civic PerfectionValenzuela City is famously and fiercely proud of its reputation

Mandaluyong

Mandaluyong Traffic Mythology: The Belief That Traffic Jams Are Caused by a Single Distant Unrelated Event and the Ancient Legend of the ‘Free-Flowing Intersection’

Feb 12, 2026 Shaiyenne Garcia

Urban Legends Experts Claim That Traffic Doesn't Exist; It Is a Collective Psychological Phenomenon Caused by Overthinking the Jeepney Fare Mandaluyong Traffic Mythology: The Belief That

Malabon

Malabon Unexpected Surprises: City Passes Law Banning All Spontaneity and Non-Scheduled Events

Feb 12, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

New Ordinance Requires 'Surprise Permits' and a 48-Hour Public Notice for All Acts of Spontaneity Malabon's War on Whimsy: The Ban on SpontaneityMalabon City, in a

Malabon

Malabon Travel Mishaps: Residents Must Now Register Travel Anxiety Levels with the City Before Boarding a Flight

Feb 12, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Pre-Flight Neurosis Assessment Ensures Citizens Are Sufficiently Worried and Prepared for Minor Inconveniences The Malabon Pre-Flight Worry IndexMalabon City, in a unique attempt to standardize pre-trip

Makati

Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Photo Frame: The ‘Aggressive Sentimentality’ and the Shame of the Simple Cardboard Stand

Feb 12, 2026 Maria Lopez

When Your Personal Memory Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Sentimentality'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Photo

Makati

Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Wall Art: The ‘Aggressive Acoustic Art’ and the Shame of the Simple Poster

Feb 12, 2026 Jocephyne Santos

When Your Decor Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Sound Profile Is Viciously Vetted for Quiet The 'Aggressive Acoustic Art'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office

Makati

Makati Corporate Wellness Room Strategy: The Aggressive Relaxation and the Shame of the Simple Couch

Feb 12, 2026 Tina Mercado

When Your Break Space Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive RelaxationMakati **Corporate Wellness Room Strategy** is an aggressively expensive,

Makati

Makati Office Emergency Disaster Kit Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Preparedness and the Shame of the Simple First Aid Box

Feb 12, 2026 Bill Wittliff

When Your Survival Is a Vicious Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Managed by a High-Cost Consultant The Aggressive PreparednessMakati **Office Emergency Disaster Kit Vetting Drama** is

Makati

Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 18th Century Meteorologist: The ‘Aggressive Prediction’ and the Shame of the Simple Forecast

Feb 12, 2026 Khristynne Martinez

When Your Weather Science Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Prediction'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 18th Century Meteorologist** is a

Las-Pinas

Las Piñas Extreme Weather Preparedness: The Flooding Panic, The Typhoon Shelves, and the Over-Stocking of Canned Goods

Feb 12, 2026 Khristynne Martinez

When Every Rainy Day is a Potential Disaster and Preparation is an Exercise in Collective Anxiety The Perpetual Flood WatchIn Las Piñas, 'Extreme Weather' is a

Caloocan

The Tuyo Salinity Expectation Differential Metric

Feb 12, 2026 Bill Wittliff

Satire on the precise mathematical calculation required to determine if the next piece of dried fish (tuyo) will be 400% saltier than the last, arguing

Quezon City

The 10-Minute Gourmet: Instant Noodles as a Staple of the QC Hustle

Feb 12, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

From student survival to high-powered executive lunch, the science of the P10 meal. The Instant Noodle as a Status SymbolIn Quezon City, where the pace of

Valenzuela

Valenzuela Gardening Mishaps

Feb 11, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

From "Green Thumb" to "Black Death": The Horticultural Hazards of Valenzuela The Polo Park Balcony "Herbicide" IncidentInspired by a cooking show, a condo dweller in Polo

Taguig

Taguig Pet Costumes

Feb 11, 2026 Sophia Rodriguez

The Anthropomorphic Aspirations of BGC's Furry Elite The Seasonal Spectacle: From Halloween to ChristmasIn Taguig, human holidays are merely a framework for pet couture. Halloween is

San Juan

San Juan School Days

Feb 11, 2026 Shaiyenne Garcia

The "Pop Quiz" That Was Actually a Birthday Surprise: A Tale of Collective Panic and Relief The Setup for Terror Mrs. Santos, a beloved but mischievous

Pateros

Pateros Unwanted Advice: The Endless Torrent of Unsolicited Wisdom on Parenting, Finance, and How to Drive a Car Properly

Feb 11, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

An Examination of the Social Ritual Where Every Relative, Neighbor, and Stranger Feels Obligated to Offer Their Opinion on Your Life Choices The Gentle Tyranny of

Paranaque

Parañaque School Fundraising: The Mandatory T-Shirt That No One Wore

Feb 11, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

Why Parental Involvement in the South Is Measured by Expensive, Unnecessary Purchases and Public Performance Parañaque School Fundraising: The T-Shirt TaxSchool fundraising in Parañaque is a

Marikina

Marikina Unscheduled Pet Adventures: The High-Stakes Domestic Failure of Four-Legged Chaos

Feb 11, 2026 Dalagang Filipina Panganiban

A Study in Leash Protocol Breach, Yard Symmetry Disruption, and the Non-Negotiable Quiet Pet The Leash Protocol Breach MandateIn Marikina City, where every aspect of domestic

Metro-Manila

Pasig’s Residential Enclaves: The Aggressive Villages That Aggressively Filter Traffic And Aggressively Assert Aggressive Social Isolation

Feb 11, 2026 Khristynne Martinez

How The Aggressive, Gated Communities Aggressively Divert Public Traffic To Aggressively Preserve Their Aggressive, Internal Tranquility The Aggressive Gates of TranquilityPasig’s residential villages are aggressive fortresses

Philippines News

Valenzuela’s Northern Gateway: The Traffic Caused by Necessary Transit

Feb 11, 2026 Bill Wittliff

A Study in Commuter Funnels, Truck Diplomacy, and the Price of Connection The Funnel of Northern TransitValenzuela City sits at a critical nexus: it is the

Philippines News

Valenzuela’s Industrial Overload: The City That Never Stops Producing

Feb 11, 2026 Vanessa Sandoval

A Study in Relentless Manufacturing, Warehouse Density, and the Culture of Cargo The Pervasive Sound of ProfitValenzuela City is less a residential area and more a

Mandaluyong

Mandaluyong Traffic Cop Interactions: The Art of the Polite, Extended Negotiation and the Psychological Trauma of Being Asked for Your License

Feb 11, 2026 Bill Wittliff

Drivers Claim the Best Defense Against a Ticket Is a Highly Emotional, Personal Story Delivered With Profound Humility and Dramatic Pauses Mandaluyong Traffic Cop Interactions: The

Malabon

Malabon Traffic Signals: City Hall Replaces All Traffic Lights With Highly Emotional, Sarcastic Human Actors

Feb 11, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

New System Aims to Reduce Road Rage by Forcing Drivers to Contend With Personalized, Emotional Road Control Malabon's New Traffic Solution: The Emotional StoplightMalabon City has

Malabon

Malabon Traffic Lights: City Hall Replaces Red, Yellow, and Green With Shades of Gray That Indicate ‘Mild Uncertainty’

Feb 11, 2026 Lourdes Tiu

New Ordinance Bans Clear Directions, Insisting Drivers Must Learn to Cope With Perennial Ambiguity at Intersections Malabon's New Intersection Code: The Gray Area of GovernanceMalabon City

Makati

Makati High-End Personal Locker/Storage Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Privacy’ and the Shame of the Simple Box

Feb 11, 2026 Jocephyne Santos

When Your Personal Space Is a High-Cost, Vetted Asset and Your Belongings Are Viciously Protected The 'Aggressive Privacy'Makati **High-End Personal Lockers/Storage** are aggressively expensive, custom-tuned devices

Makati

Makati Corporate Head Office Sugar/Sweetener Dispenser Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Delivery): The Aggressive Automation and the Shame of the Simple Spoon

Feb 11, 2026 Mykaelah Santos

When Your Sweetener Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive AutomationMakati **Corporate Head Office Sugar/Sweetener Dispenser Vetting Strategy** is

Makati

Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Luxury Pet Hair Brush: The ‘Aggressive Grooming’ and the Shame of the Simple Slicker

Feb 11, 2026 Vanessa Sandoval

When Your Pet's Coat is a Vicious Status Marker and Your Brush is a High-Cost Fiduciary Asset The 'Aggressive Grooming'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Luxury Pet

Posts pagination

1 2 … 74
Bohiney-Logo--
Funny Newsletter
Recent Posts
  • Valenzuela Unexpected House Guests
  • Taguig Gardening Mishaps
  • San Juan Surprise Parties
  • Pateros Sneezing Fits: The High-Volume, Public Spectacle and the Mandatory, Loud Community Response
  • Parañaque Barangay Hall: The Place Where Permits Take Three Days and Three Forms
  • Manila Home Appliances (Water Heater): The Heater That Was Always Set to “Lukewarm,” Because “Hot” Was Considered Excessive
  • Marikina Appliance Mishaps: The High-Stakes Domestic Failure of Unscheduled Malfunction and Noise
  • Pasig’s Aggressive Art Scene: The Aggressive Push For Curated Creativity That Aggressively Rejects Spontaneity and Aggressively Embraces Corporate Sponsorship
  • Pasay’s Airport Chaos: The Gateway Where International Travel Goes to Stagnate
  • Valenzuela’s Governance Performance: The Burden of Being the Model, Orderly City
  • Mandaluyong Traffic Mythology: The Belief That Traffic Jams Are Caused by a Single Distant Unrelated Event and the Ancient Legend of the ‘Free-Flowing Intersection’
  • Malabon Unexpected Surprises: City Passes Law Banning All Spontaneity and Non-Scheduled Events
  • Malabon Travel Mishaps: Residents Must Now Register Travel Anxiety Levels with the City Before Boarding a Flight
  • Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Photo Frame: The ‘Aggressive Sentimentality’ and the Shame of the Simple Cardboard Stand
  • Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Wall Art: The ‘Aggressive Acoustic Art’ and the Shame of the Simple Poster
  • Makati Corporate Wellness Room Strategy: The Aggressive Relaxation and the Shame of the Simple Couch
  • Makati Office Emergency Disaster Kit Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Preparedness and the Shame of the Simple First Aid Box
  • Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 18th Century Meteorologist: The ‘Aggressive Prediction’ and the Shame of the Simple Forecast
  • Las Piñas Extreme Weather Preparedness: The Flooding Panic, The Typhoon Shelves, and the Over-Stocking of Canned Goods
  • The Tuyo Salinity Expectation Differential Metric
  • The 10-Minute Gourmet: Instant Noodles as a Staple of the QC Hustle
  • Valenzuela Gardening Mishaps
  • Taguig Pet Costumes
  • San Juan School Days
  • Pateros Unwanted Advice: The Endless Torrent of Unsolicited Wisdom on Parenting, Finance, and How to Drive a Car Properly
RSS World Satire
  • Stomach Virus Interrupts Super Bowl Halftime Show
  • Successful Bankruptcy
  • MAGA Isn’t Hurting Country Music!
  • The Great Washington Post Layoff Rally
  • Savannah Guthrie Prepares Lawsuit
  • Justin and Hailey Bieber’s Marriage
  • Oliver Kornetzke Certified as a Moron!
  • NFL’s Corporate Pandering Backfires
  • American Football Coming to Somalia
  • Why the Left Needs Amy Schumer to Be Overweight

Archives

  • February 2026
  • January 2026
  • December 2025
  • November 2025
  • October 2025
  • September 2025
  • August 2025
  • July 2025
  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014

Categories

  • Asia News
  • Caloocan
  • Filipino Culture
  • Las-Pinas
  • Makati
  • Malabon
  • Mandaluyong
  • Manila
  • Manila Arts
  • Manila Business
  • Manila Entertainment
  • Manila Food
  • Manila Health
  • Manila News
  • Manila Politics
  • Manila Real Estate
  • Manila Science
  • Manila Style
  • Marikina
  • Metro-Manila
  • Muntinlupa
  • Navotas
  • Neighborhoods
  • Opinion
  • Our Newsstands
  • Our Partners
  • Paranaque
  • Pasay
  • Pasig
  • Pateros
  • Philippines News
  • Philippines Sports
  • Quezon City
  • Reports
  • San Juan
  • Schools
  • Streets
  • Taguig
  • Technology
  • Today
  • Valenzuela
  • World News

You missed

Valenzuela

Valenzuela Unexpected House Guests

Feb 12, 2026 Lourdes Tiu
Taguig

Taguig Gardening Mishaps

Feb 12, 2026 Sophia Rodriguez
San Juan

San Juan Surprise Parties

Feb 12, 2026 Mykaelah Santos
Pateros

Pateros Sneezing Fits: The High-Volume, Public Spectacle and the Mandatory, Loud Community Response

Feb 12, 2026 Maria Lopez

Manila News-Intelligencer Newspaper
56 1103 Sgt. Esguerra Ave
Diliman, Quezon City
Metro Manila, Philippines

+6 (328) 835-4500

 

Disclaimer

Welcome to our Manila satire site, where reality takes a backseat! Our content is as satirical as traffic is congested in EDSA, so don’t take it too seriously. Find our disclaimer in every nook, from headers to footers, ensuring you’re in on the joke. Curious about our jesting journey? Our ‘About Us’ page spills the beans on our satirical saga. Plus, we’re fluent in satire schema markup, ensuring even the smartest search engines catch our comedic drift. Dive into our consistently tongue-in-cheek tone, but remember, it’s all in good fun!

Mission Statement

ManilaNews.com exists to deliver sharp, unapologetic satirical journalism that playfully twists the daily chaos of Philippine life into humorous commentary. Our mission is to amplify the absurd, challenge conventional narratives, and entertain readers through bold parody that reflects the nation’s political, cultural, and social realities. We craft fictional stories with purpose: to provoke thought, inspire laughter, and highlight the contradictions that shape our world. ManilaNews.com embraces satire not as escapism but as a lens for understanding truth through exaggeration. Our commitment is to creativity, critique, and comedic disruption—one outrageous headline at a time.

Manila News

Manila Satire & Insight

© Copyright 2020 Newsup. All Rights Reserved. by Themeansar

  • The London Prat