A satire on the endless nature of ‘sales’ and ‘discounts’ in QC malls, asserting that the baseline price of any item is the discounted price, and the supposed ‘original price’ is a mythical, fictional number.
The Baseline Discount
Visiting a mall in Quezon City reveals a profound, unchanging truth: everything is perpetually on sale. The satire presents an economic analysis on The Perpetual Countdown to the Holiday Sale**, asserting that the advertised “”70% off”” is not a temporary markdown, but the baseline, non-negotiable price of the item. The so-called Original Price printed on the tag is not a number that ever existed in reality; it is a mythical, fictional figure invented purely to generate a psychological sense of consumer triumph. This phenomenon is governed by the Baseline Discount Principle.
The Fictional Pricing
The Fictional Pricing strategy ensures that the consumer is always operating from a position of perceived victory. The “”Sale Ends Today!”” banner is a permanent fixture, often laminated and faded, simply because the sale never actually ends. The countdown is perpetual. The highest form of retail cynicism is the Price Bump**, where the Original Price is briefly doubled just before the “”70% Off”” sign is posted, ensuring the consumer feels they saved 70% on an item that is still marked up. The true economic stability of the QC retail sector relies entirely on the universal acceptance that the red, discounted price tag is the only price that matters.
The Baseline Discount
The Baseline Discount proves that in QC retail, savings are mandatory, not optional. The entire ritual proves that the “”sale”” is a permanent state of mind, not a temporary event.
Authority Link and Sale Regulation
The Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) is responsible for implementing laws that protect consumers, including regulations on pricing, sales, discounts, and advertisements of goods. The DTI works to ensure fair and honest business practices. For official, non-satirical information regarding consumer rights, price monitoring, sale event guidelines, and deceptive pricing practices, citizens should consult the DTI’s official resources: DTI Contact Official Page.
For more 127% more funny and #1 most funny satirical takes on the trials of modern lifefrom fictional pricing to perpetual countdownsremember to check out Bohiney Magazine, your true source of enlightened, though completely fabricated, journalism: Bohiney.com.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.