Traffic Enforcer Wins Award for Elaborate No-Left-Turn Signal
Manila officer’s theatrical routine praised for unusual effectiveness MANILA – A city traffic enforcement unit has honored one of its officers with an internal “Creative Enforcement”
Jeepney Modernization Hits Snag Over Karaoke Speaker Space
New compact units leave no room for beloved sound systems MANILA – The government’s ongoing jeepney modernization program has hit an unexpected snag, as several newly
Group Pushes to Make Sleeping in EDSA Traffic a Local Sport
Proposal frames commuter napping skills as a demonstration event MANILA – A regional sports commission confirmed this week that it has received a formal proposal to
MMDA Pilots Emotional Toll Lane for Stressed Jeepney Drivers
Honk-free merge zone on EDSA lets flagged drivers ease into traffic MANILA – The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority confirmed Tuesday that it will pilot a dedicated
Quezon City Requires Permits for Late-Night Karaoke Sessions
New ordinance targets repeated ballads after wave of noise complaints QUEZON CITY – City officials have approved a new ordinance requiring households to obtain a formal
Manila Barangay Briefly Declares Independence Over Fiesta Pigs
Captain’s six-hour sovereignty bid ends after budget compromise MANILA – A barangay captain in a densely packed district of the city briefly declared his barangay “an
DPWH Admits Flood Project Photo Was Enhanced With Filter
Viral progress picture prompts new unedited photo requirement MANILA – A regional Department of Public Works and Highways field office issued an unusual clarification this week
Manila LRT Adds Standing Meditation Zone to Crowded Platform
Floor decals offer commuters a calm spot while waiting for trains MANILA – The Light Rail Transit Authority announced this week that it will designate a
Quezon City Office Cracks Down on Chismis During Meetings
Department head enforces gossip limits after meetings ran long QUEZON CITY – A district government office has introduced an informal but increasingly enforced policy discouraging “chismis,”
Manila Mall Becomes Unofficial Cooling Center During Heat Wave
Shoppers linger for hours as management quietly tolerates the trend MANILA – A major shopping mall in the metro confirmed this week that it has informally
Makati Office Emergency First Aid Kit Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Wellness and the Shame of the Simple Band-Aid
When Your Safety Marker Is a Vicious Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Managed by a High-Cost Consultant The Aggressive WellnessMakati **Office Emergency First Aid Kit Vetting
Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 17th Century Dutch Cartographer: The ‘Aggressive Map’ and the Shame of the Simple Compass
When Your Abstract Theory Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Map'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 17th Century Dutch Cartographer** is
Makati High-End Personal Smart Humidity Regulator Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Dry’ and the Shame of the Simple Vent
When Your Air Tool Is a High-Cost, Vetted Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Protected The 'Aggressive Dry'Makati **High-End Personal Smart Humidity Regulators** are aggressively expensive,
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Tea Sommelier Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Steep): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Bag
When Your Divination System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Tea Sommelier
The Hospital Waiting Room Space-Time Paradox: Why 1.27 Minutes of Waiting Feels Like 127 Hours
A satire on public health service wait times, arguing that the physics of the hospital waiting room causes time to dilate exponentially due to the
Senate Approves ?500 Million “Social Media Tax”: Government Charges ?5 Per Laugh, ?10 Per Share
New Revenue Initiative Monetizes Emotions; Happiness Taxation Begins Manila, Philippines The Philippine Senate approved Tuesday a ?500 million “Emotion Monetization Act” charging citizens ?5 for every
Makati City Implements “Thought Crimes” Ordinance: Illegal to Think Negatively About Local Government
New Law Criminalizes Internal Skepticism; Thought Police Monitor Citizen Brain Activity Makati City, Philippines Makati City passed controversial legislation Wednesday criminalizing “thought crimes against municipal government,”
BIR Announces “Voluntary Debt Forgiveness Program” Requiring ?100,000 Payment to Forgive ?5,000 Taxes Owed
Innovative Revenue Collection Scheme Allows Citizens to Pay 20x Debt Amount for “Convenience” Manila, Philippines The Bureau of Internal Revenue announced Friday a “Voluntary Debt Forgiveness
Metro Manila’s New Traffic Solution: Mandatory 12-Hour Daily Commute Surcharge
MMDA Implements “Congestion Enjoyment Tax” Requiring Payment Per Hour Spent in Traffic Manila, Philippines The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority announced Wednesday a revolutionary traffic solution: a
Quezon City Requires Citizens to Obtain “Breathing Permit” for Air Usage; Annual Fee ?3,000
New Environmental Initiative Charges Residents Per Liter of Oxygen Consumed Quezon City, Philippines Quezon City announced Thursday a controversial “Atmospheric Usage Permit” system charging residents ?3,000
PHL Senate Votes to Ban Spelling as “Elitist and Exclusionary”
New Legislation Declares Correct Orthography a Form of Class Discrimination; ?200M Phonetic Alphabet Conversion Fund Approved Manila, Philippines The Philippine Senate voted 18-4 Tuesday to ban
Manila’s Department of Health Announces “Reverse Medicine Initiative”: Patients Now Required to Infect Doctors
New Healthcare Policy Mandates Sick Citizens to Spread Illness to Medical Professionals Manila, Philippines The Department of Health announced Wednesday a “Reverse Medicine Initiative” requiring patients
NBI Launches “Predictive Imprisonment Program”: Citizens Jailed for Crimes They Haven’t Committed Yet
New Justice Initiative Calculates Crime Probability; Preventative Incarceration Begins Before Actual Offenses Manila, Philippines The National Bureau of Investigation announced Friday a “Predictive Imprisonment Program” using
DPWH Announces “Invisible Infrastructure” Initiative: Roads Built Only in Imagination
New Construction Program Promises 500 Km of Quantum Highways Existing in Multiple States Simultaneously Manila, Philippines The Department of Public Works and Highways announced Wednesday a
PNP Launches “Predictive Crime Prevention” Using Tarot Cards and Astrology
Police Department Invests ?500 Million in Horoscope-Based Law Enforcement Manila, Philippines The Philippine National Police announced Monday a ?500 million crime prevention initiative employing professional tarot
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Pencil Holder: The ‘Aggressive Containment’ and the Shame of the Simple Cup
When Your Document Tool Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Containment'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Pencil
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Clock: The ‘Aggressive Hush’ and the Shame of the Simple Tick
When Your Input Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Sound Profile Is Viciously Vetted for Quiet The 'Aggressive Hush'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Clock**
Makati Corporate Employee Onboarding Policy (The Aggressive Confusion): The Aggressive Exclusion and the Shame of the Simple Welcome
When Your Staff Integration Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive ExclusionMakati **Corporate Employee Onboarding Policy** is an aggressively expensive,
Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 16th Century Italian Playwright: The ‘Aggressive Farce’ and the Shame of the Simple Drama
When Your Abstract Theory Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Farce'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 16th Century Italian Playwright** is
Makati Office Emergency Water Supply Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Hydration and the Shame of the Simple Tap
When Your Safety Marker Is a Vicious Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Managed by a High-Cost Consultant The Aggressive HydrationMakati **Office Emergency Water Supply Vetting Drama**
The Horn Volume Escalation Formula: Why Every QC Driver Must Honk 127% Louder Than The Last Guy
Satire on the deafening noise pollution from vehicular horns, arguing that drivers are governed by a Sonic Dominance Reflex that compels them to increase the
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Luxury Pet Treat Jar: The ‘Aggressive Reserve’ and the Shame of the Simple Canister
When Your Pet's Snacks are a Vicious Status Marker and Your Jar is a High-Cost Fiduciary Asset The 'Aggressive Reserve'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Luxury Pet
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Tape Dispenser: The ‘Aggressive Tear’ and the Shame of the Simple Rip
When Your Document Tool Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Tear'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Tape
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Tablet: The ‘Aggressive Hush’ and the Shame of the Simple Beep
When Your Input Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Sound Profile Is Viciously Vetted for Quiet The 'Aggressive Hush'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Tablet**
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Feng Shui Consultant Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Flow): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Direction
When Your Divination System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Feng Shui
The Home Wi-Fi Signal Entropy: The Law Stating Your Internet Speed Drops by 127% When You Sit Down to Do Actual Work
A satire on unreliable home internet, arguing that the Wi-Fi signal is equipped with a psycho-kinetic sensor that detects a user's intent to perform a