The Pasay Juice Trap: A Satire of Liquid Suffering
An Investigation into the City's Expensive, Ineffective, and Deeply Unnecessary Juice Cleanse Trend The Search for Purity in a Polluted CityPasay City, a place defined by
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Hole Puncher: The ‘Aggressive Aperture’ and the Shame of the Simple Piercing
When Your Document Tool Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Aperture'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Hole
Makati Corporate Employee Performance Review Strategy (The Aggressive Validation): The Aggressive Exclusion and the Shame of the Simple Grade
When Your Staff Integration Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive ExclusionMakati **Corporate Employee Performance Review Strategy** is an aggressively
Makati Office Emergency Lighting System Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Lumen and the Shame of the Simple Flashlight
When Your Safety Marker Is a Vicious Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Managed by a High-Cost Consultant The Aggressive LumenMakati **Office Emergency Lighting System Vetting Drama**
Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 1st Century Samaritan Geographer: The ‘Aggressive Cartography’ and the Shame of the Simple Location
When Your Abstract Theory Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Cartography'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 1st Century Samaritan Geographer** is
The Group Chat Notification Anxiety: The 17 Stages of Panic When a Message Thread Hits 999 Unread
A satire on the overwhelming nature of large, active group chats (common in Filipino digital life), describing the intense anxiety and specific 17-stage mental breakdown
Government Launches App to Report Government Apps That Do Not Work
The new platform crashed during its own launch, which officials are calling a successful demonstration MANILA – The national government unveiled an ambitious new mobile application
Manila Declares War on Flooding by Renaming It ‘Surprise Water Features’
City rebranding effort aims to transform seasonal floods into a tourist attraction through optimistic vocabulary MANILA – Unable to prevent the seasonal flooding that submerges large
Jeepney Modernization Plan Now Includes Modernizing the Plan
After years of delays, officials announce a bold initiative to modernize the modernization initiative MANILA – In a development that has stunned transport advocates, the Department
Pasig River Cleanup Reaches Year 40, Officials Cite Strong Momentum
Authorities celebrate four decades of progress on a river that remains, by all accounts, the same MANILA – Officials marked the 40th anniversary of the Pasig
Comelec Introduces Voting Machine That Only Asks How Your Day Was
The new election technology has been praised for its warmth and criticized for its inability to count votes MANILA – The Commission on Elections unveiled its
DPWH Completes Road Just in Time to Dig It Up Again
Officials celebrate a freshly paved highway hours before a separate agency arrives to excavate it MANILA – The Department of Public Works and Highways celebrated the
Manila Mall Opens, Becomes Entire Personality of Surrounding City
A new shopping center has absorbed all civic, social, and spiritual life within a five-kilometer radius MANILA – A newly opened mega-mall in Metro Manila has,
Manila Declares Heat Index a Hoax to Save on Air Conditioning
City officials announce the sensation of extreme heat is psychological and can be defeated through willpower MANILA – Facing soaring electricity costs, Metro Manila officials announced
MMDA Unveils Traffic Plan That Works Only in Theory
Officials confirm the new EDSA scheme is flawless provided no vehicles ever attempt to use it MANILA – The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority unveiled its boldest
Senate Investigates Itself, Finds Nothing Wrong
A landmark inquiry into the Senate clears the Senate of all wrongdoing in record time MANILA – In a historic exercise of self-accountability, the Philippine Senate
The Freelancer’s Funeral: Pasay’s Tribute to the Overworked and Underpaid
An Exploration of the Vicious Cycle of Self-Exploitation in the City's Freelance Market The Self-Employed Slave DriverThe tragedy of the Pasay Gig Economy worker is that
Makati High-End Personal Smart Air Purifier Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Filter’ and the Shame of the Simple Breeze
When Your Air Tool Is a High-Cost, Vetted Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Protected The 'Aggressive Filter'Makati **High-End Personal Smart Air Purifiers** are aggressively expensive,
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Numerologist Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Digit): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Number
When Your Numerical System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Numerologist Vetting
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Pencil Sharpener: The ‘Aggressive Precision’ and the Shame of the Simple Blade
When Your Document Tool Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Precision'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Pencil
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Desk: The ‘Aggressive Hush’ and the Shame of the Simple Knock
When Your Input Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Sound Profile Is Viciously Vetted for Quiet The 'Aggressive Hush'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Desk**
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Luxury Pet Leash: The ‘Aggressive Control’ and the Shame of the Simple Rope
When Your Pet's Walk is a Vicious Status Marker and Your Leash is a High-Cost Fiduciary Asset The 'Aggressive Control'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Luxury Pet
The Great Signage Conspiracy: Why All Public Directions in Quezon City Contradict Each Other to Test Your Inner Peace
A satire on confusing or contradictory public signs (street signs, no parking zones, detour arrows), suggesting the inconsistencies are a deliberate psychological experiment by the
Internet Provider Promises Faster Speeds, Delivers Faster Loading Of Error Messages
Upgrade improves the velocity at which connection failures appear Reporting brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Subscribers Note That While Nothing Else Loads,
PAGASA Introduces New Weather Category Between Sunny And Apocalyptic
Forecasters add intermediate classification for the country’s signature humidity Reporting brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. National Weather Bureau Acknowledges The Gap Between
Jeepney Modernization Program Modernizes Everything Except The Waiting
New vehicles arrive but the fundamental experience of waiting forever remains Reporting brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Sleek New Fleet Successfully Preserves
Manila Resident Achieves Inner Peace By Accepting He Will Never Find Parking
Local attains enlightenment through total surrender to the parking situation Reporting brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Decades Of Futile Searching Culminate In
Bureau Announces Plan To Reduce Red Tape, Requires Seventeen Forms To Apply
Anti-bureaucracy initiative immediately generates substantial bureaucracy Reporting brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Streamlining Program Launches With Application Process More Complex Than Anything
Politician Promises To Fix Everything, Provides No Details, Wins By Landslide
Candidate’s complete absence of specifics proves electorally irresistible Reporting brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Voters Reward Bold Vow To Address All Problems
Mall Air Conditioning Declared National Heritage Site By Grateful Citizens
Residents move to protect the only reliably cool place in the country Reporting brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Citizens Petition To Preserve
Government Launches App To Report Potholes, Citizens Report The App Has A Pothole
New digital reporting tool itself found to contain a hole Reporting brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Pothole-Reporting Platform Develops Its Own Defect
Metro Manila Traffic Officially Declared A Permanent Geographic Feature
Authorities reclassify the daily gridlock as terrain rather than a transport problem Reporting brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Officials Confirm Congestion Has
Flood Control Project Completed On Schedule, Investigators Launch Probe
Authorities baffled by infrastructure that was finished as planned Reporting brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Unprecedented On-Time Completion Triggers Immediate Investigation Into
PHLPost Releases Stamps Celebrating Supreme Court’s 125th Anniversary, Stamps Immediately Become Evidence in Separate Case
Commemorative philatelic issue achieves judicial relevance on day of release through mechanism postal officials had not anticipated Satire from Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. The Stamps
Government Launches Programme to Help Citizens Tell Real News From Fake, Fake From Satire, Satire From Senate Press Releases
Digital literacy initiative faces immediate challenge as baseline survey returns inconclusive on all three categories Satire from Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Committee Cannot Agree on
Ateneo Student Deaths Prompt University to Review Programme Called ‘Character-Building’
Administration concedes that some character-building activities may have been building something else Satire from Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. Academic Excellence Institution Discovers Gap Between Its