Flood Control Budget Now Imagination Based
DPWH confirms 47 projects exist in a conceptual state and will remain there until an audit collapses the waveform MANILA, PHILIPPINES – The Department of Public
MMDA Solves EDSA With a New Colour
Agency announces traffic scheme requiring no roads, no trains and no reduction in vehicles QUEZON CITY, PHILIPPINES – The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority has unveiled its
MRT Breakdown Reclassified as Feature
Rail operator says unscheduled stops give passengers time to reflect and should be priced accordingly MANDALUYONG, PHILIPPINES – The operator of Metro Manila’s principal rail line
PAGASA Runs Out of Typhoon Names Again
Weather bureau opens public naming contest, immediately regrets it as submissions arrive QUEZON CITY, PHILIPPINES – The Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration has exhausted
Jeepney Modernisation Deadline Extended Again
Ninth extension granted as agency confirms the deadline is now a ceremonial object MANILA, PHILIPPINES – The Land Transportation Franchising and Regulatory Board has granted a
Senate Hearing Enters Fourteenth Month
Blue ribbon committee confirms inquiry has outlived the agency it was investigating PASAY CITY, PHILIPPINES – A Senate inquiry launched in aid of legislation has entered
Water Interruption Declared Character Building
Concessionaire says 14-hour outages develop resilience and will not be reflected in the bill MANILA, PHILIPPINES – A metropolitan water concessionaire has responded to a fourteen
Barangay Solves Everything With Basketball Court
Officials confirm covered court remains the national answer to health, education and drainage CALOOCAN, PHILIPPINES – A barangay council has approved the construction of its fourth
Ber Months Begin, Christmas Season Enters Month Five
Retailers confirm September start is now considered late and September 1 is under review MANILA, PHILIPPINES – The Philippine Christmas season formally commenced on the first
Telco Announces Signal Now Available Outdoors
Provider confirms coverage improvement requires customers to stand near a window, or a bridge MAKATI CITY, PHILIPPINES – A major telecommunications provider has announced a significant
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Pencil Sharpener: The ‘Aggressive Point’ and the Shame of the Simple Twist
When Your Document Tool Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Point'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Pencil
Makati Corporate Employee Communication Policy (The Aggressive Silence): The Aggressive Exclusion and the Shame of the Simple Talk
When Your Staff Integration Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive ExclusionMakati **Corporate Employee Communication Policy** is an aggressively expensive,
Makati Office Emergency Lighting Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Lumen and the Shame of the Simple Bulb
When Your Safety Marker Is a Vicious Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Managed by a High-Cost Consultant The Aggressive LumenMakati **Office Emergency Lighting Vetting Drama** is
Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 20th Century Russian Economist: The ‘Aggressive Paradox’ and the Shame of the Simple Market
When Your Abstract Theory Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Paradox'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 20th Century Russian Economist** is
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Keyboard: The ‘Aggressive Hush’ and the Shame of the Simple Clack
When Your Input Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Sound Profile Is Viciously Vetted for Quiet The 'Aggressive Hush'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Keyboard**
The Laughter Over-Amplification Syndrome: Why “LOL” Means 127% More Emotional Detachment Than Actual Laughter
Satire on the overuse of meaningless digital shorthand, arguing that such repliers suffer from Laughter Over-Amplification Syndrome that translates genuine emotional detachment into 127% perceived
Makati High-End Personal Smart UV Sanitizer Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Purity’ and the Shame of the Simple Wipe
When Your Hygiene Tool Is a High-Cost, Vetted Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Protected The 'Aggressive Purity'Makati **High-End Personal Smart UV Sanitizers** are aggressively expensive,
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Gardener Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Zen Garden): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Plant
When Your Divination System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Gardener Vetting
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Luxury Pet Cage: The ‘Aggressive Sanctuary’ and the Shame of the Simple Kennel
When Your Pet's Confinement is a Vicious Status Marker and Your Cage is a High-Cost Fiduciary Asset The 'Aggressive Sanctuary'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Luxury Pet
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Tape Dispenser: The ‘Aggressive Tear’ and the Shame of the Simple Pull
When Your Document Tool Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Tear'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Tape
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Desk: The ‘Aggressive Hush’ and the Shame of the Simple Table
When Your Input Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Sound Profile Is Viciously Vetted for Quiet The 'Aggressive Hush'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Noise-Dampening Office Desk**
The Language of Lanes: Decoding the $6$ PM Traffic-Induced Telepathy
A satirical look at the intense, silent communication between drivers stuck in gridlock, conveying complex philosophical debates using only horn honks and furious stares. The Commuter
Davao Durian Vendor Bans Customers From Complaining About Smell
New stall policy says the fruit does not apologize for itself DAVAO CITY — A durian vendor at the Magsaysay Park market has posted a handwritten
Philippine Typhoon Name List Reused Despite Objections
Weather bureau defends recycling names citizens wanted retired QUEZON CITY — The Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration confirmed this week that a typhoon name
Palawan Resort Charges Tourists Extra to See Actual Ocean
Beachfront upgrade fee introduced after years of pool preference EL NIDO, Palawan — A beachfront resort in this popular island destination has introduced a supplemental fee
Iloilo Batchoy Vendors Form Cartel to Fix Egg Prices
Noodle shop owners agree eggs cost too much to give away free ILOILO CITY — A group of eleven batchoy vendors operating around the Iloilo public
Baguio Fog Blamed for Missed Meetings Across City Hall
Officials say visibility excuse now used for unrelated tardiness BAGUIO CITY — City hall officials in this mountain resort city have acknowledged an unusual administrative problem
Metro Manila Traffic Enforcer Wins Lifetime Patience Award
Cubao intersection veteran cited for standing still amid chaos for eleven years QUEZON CITY — The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority presented its first ever Lifetime Patience
Manila Barangay Introduces Karaoke Curfew Enforcement Squad
Volume complaints spike after neighbor discovers duet setting MANILA — A barangay in the Sampaloc district has formed a dedicated four person Karaoke Curfew Enforcement Squad
Jeepney Modernization Program Reaches Its Nineteenth Deadline
Operators say they have stopped writing the date in pencil MANILA — The government’s jeepney modernization program marked its nineteenth official deadline extension this month, a
Baguio Strawberry Farm Sued by Rival Over Sweetness Claims
La Trinidad growers accuse each other of exaggerating brix levels LA TRINIDAD, Benguet — Two neighboring strawberry farms in this Cordillera municipality have escalated a long
Cebu Lechon Vendor Adds Loyalty Card After 40 Years
Regular customers finally get something for eating an entire pig CEBU CITY — A lechon stall operating in the Carcar public market since 1985 introduced its
Makati Corporate Employee Sick Leave Policy (The Aggressive Health): The Aggressive Exclusion and the Shame of the Simple Rest
When Your Staff Integration Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive ExclusionMakati **Corporate Employee Sick Leave Policy** is an aggressively
Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 19th Century German Botanist: The ‘Aggressive Classification’ and the Shame of the Simple Tree
When Your Abstract Theory Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Classification'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 19th Century German Botanist** is
Makati High-End Personal Smart Toothbrush Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Clean’ and the Shame of the Simple Scrub
When Your Hygiene Tool Is a High-Cost, Vetted Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Protected The 'Aggressive Clean'Makati **High-End Personal Smart Toothbrushes** are aggressively expensive, custom-tuned
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Janitor Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Polish): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Sweep
When Your Divination System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Janitor Vetting