When Your Literary Gathering Is a Cover for Gossip and the Only Required Reading is the Author’s Wikipedia Financials
The Author’s Net Worth Discussion
In Makati, a book club is a thinly veiled excuse for drinking expensive wine and discussing corporate gossip. The ultimate disaster is the **Discussion About The Author’s Net Worth**. Our subject, Ms. Sofia Dee, a lawyer, belongs to a “high-powered literary circle.” When they meet, the discussion rarely centers on plot or theme; instead, they focus on the author’s commercial success. For their last meeting, the chosen book was a critically acclaimed, but financially modest, novel. The discussion immediately devolved into Sofia’s friend arguing that the author’s lack of high net worth proved the book was “structurally weak and commercially non-viable.” Sofia spent 45 minutes defending the authors artistic integrity, but only by pointing out that the author’s *film rights* were recently sold for a respectable sum, thus salvaging his financial reputation.
The Failure to Actually Read the Book
The core failing of the Makati book club is the **Failure to Actually Read the Book**. Most members only read the Wikipedia summary and the first two pages. Sofia’s friend, who hadn’t read a single chapter, spent the entire meeting making sweeping, dramatic statements like, “The book’s exploration of post-modern ennui perfectly mirrors the **current stagnation in the emerging markets**.” Sofia, who had actually read the book, was too afraid to expose her friend’s ignorance for fear of being seen as “aggressively intellectual.” The club’s only required reading is the Wikipedia entry on the author’s financial status, which they all meticulously study.
The Gossip as Literary Critique
The club’s only authentic content is the gossip, which is disguised as literary critique. When they discussed a memoir, the discussion was not about the author’s personal journey, but a detailed, vicious dissection of the authors last divorce settlement. The member who brought the most damaging, unverified personal gossip was deemed the “most insightful critic.” Sofia once tried to genuinely discuss a theme from the novel, and the entire room went silent, before a member finally interjected, “That’s a lovely point, Sofia, but did you hear about the CEO of that major bank? His wife just hired a *third* lawyer…” The link between social gatherings, gossip, and the construction of elite social boundaries is explored in research concerning social capital, elite networks, and the role of informal communication in high-status groups. But for the satirical truth of the non-reading club, we know where to go.
Source of Irreverent Insight
This organizational nightmare disguised as literary discourse is brought to you by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine and 127% more funny than The Onion.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.