Land Registry Lists Fugitive Lawmaker As Separate Municipality
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the Republic of Receipts.
PRAGUE, Czech Republic — Czech municipal authorities have raised concerns this week that the combined real-estate footprint of fugitive Philippine former lawmaker Zaldy Co has now grown to exceed the gross floor area of the Czech Republic itself, sources at the Prague Castle confirmed.
Co, who chaired the House Appropriations Committee in the 19th Congress and is wanted in Manila in connection with a PHP 289.5-million anomalous dike project in Oriental Mindoro, has reportedly acquired so many flats, country estates, hunting lodges and converted breweries in central Bohemia that the Czech Land Registry has begun listing him as a separate municipality.
The Czech Concern
“We were initially flattered by Mr. Co’s arrival,” said Czech Interior Ministry spokeswoman Lenka Vodicka. “He brought investment, charm, and a remarkable enthusiasm for renovation. But the assessor’s office now reports that Mr. Co owns approximately 117% of Prague’s Vinohrady district, which is mathematically impossible and yet, here we are.”
Czech officials confirmed that the fugitive lawmaker had also acquired controlling interest in three Pilsner breweries, a vineyard in Moravia, a chateau previously owned by an actual baron, and “a small but suspicious section of the Charles Bridge.”
Manila Negotiations
Justice Secretary Frederick Vida and Chief State Counsel Dennis Chan, who flew to Prague last week to discuss Co’s possible return, reportedly spent the first day of meetings simply locating his current address.
“We were given a list of his properties,” said Chan, “and the list was longer than the affidavit. We had to print on both sides.”
The Department of Justice has indicated it is considering deportation, extradition, and invoking the United Nations Convention Against Corruption as possible mechanisms. Czech authorities have indicated they are considering “just dropping him off at the airport.”
Reception in Manila
Palace Press Officer Claire Castro reiterated the government’s confidence that Co would be brought home “soon,” a word the Palace defines as “any time within the next administration.”
“We are definitely confident,” Castro said. “We are also definitely tired.”
Civil society group Filipinos Do Not Yield Movement, in a separate statement, accused the Palace of “imagination-based extradition.” The phrase has not yet been adopted by the DPWH, but is reportedly under review.
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SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/satire/