Etymology Confirmed As Tong Plus Patse, Meaning Patches Of Pavement

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the Republic of Receipts.

MANILA, Philippines — The Komisyon sa Wikang Filipino has officially recognised tongpats, the Tagalog street term for the systematic theft of public funds, as a formal entry in the national lexicon, citing what its chairman called “overwhelming usage in 2025 and 2026.”

The word, popularised during the ongoing flood control corruption scandal, refers to the practice of skimming a percentage off government contracts, typically 25% but rising to “as much as the contractor can carry.”

The Lexical Entry

“Tongpats, noun, Tagalog slang,” reads the new dictionary entry. “1. The systematic diversion of public funds by elected officials, contractors and middlemen, often via inflated infrastructure contracts. 2. A national hobby. 3. The reason your dike does not exist.”

The Komisyon’s chairman, Dr. Salvador Padilla, said the body had been “deeply reluctant” to formalise the term but was “left with no choice when even the Senate started using it without quotation marks.”

Etymology

According to a study by the not-yet-accredited Manila Institute of Practical Linguistics, the word tongpats derives from the older slang tong, meaning a payoff, fused with patse, meaning patch, “as in the patches of pavement DPWH did not lay.”

“What makes tongpats unique,” said institute fellow Prof. Marisol Banaag, “is that the word is itself a confession. To use it correctly in a sentence is to admit that the speaker, the listener, and the country at large have agreed that this is just how things are.”

Government Response

Malacanang declined to comment directly on the new lexical entry but issued a statement saying the President had “always been against tongpats, in principle, in concept, and in spelling.”

The Transparency International Corruption Perceptions Index, which dropped the Philippines six notches to 120th out of 182 territories, has been cited by the Komisyon as supporting evidence for the word’s increasing relevance.

Critics noted that the Komisyon also formally recognised the word kickback in 1972, the word plunder in 1989, and the phrase missing receipts in 2014, suggesting the body’s role in Philippine political life has been less of a grammarian and more of a court stenographer.

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SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/satire/