Extended school hours and increased assignments promised to build resilience
In a bold move that has left parents, students, and alarm clocks in shock, the Department of Education (DepEd) announced plans to extend class hours while simultaneously increasing homework assignments a program officially dubbed “Character Development Through Chronic Exhaustion.”
Under the new initiative, students are expected to spend an additional three hours in school each day, with evening assignments that may include: solving 400 math problems, translating Shakespeare into Tagalog, and composing interpretive dance routines summarizing Philippine history.
DepEd Secretary Leonor Briones defended the measure at a press briefing, stating, “Sleep is optional. Character is not. We are committed to molding Filipino youth into hardworking, resilient, and thoroughly sleep-deprived citizens.” The approach contrasts sharply with international research on effective education practices.
Teachers, many of whom have already been surviving on instant coffee and nostalgia, were cautiously optimistic. “At least the students will be awake during class,” one veteran teacher said, adding under her breath, “Because none of us are either.”
Parents scrambled to purchase energy drinks in bulk and convert study corners into “Nap-Optional Zones.” “My child used to come home at 5 PM,” said one mother in Quezon City. “Now they arrive at 11 PM, muttering facts about photosynthesis while fighting mild existential crises.”
The program also introduces a “Merit-Based Nap Policy,” allowing students who score 100% on tests to earn a 15-minute nap though this has been criticized as “almost comically insufficient.”
Education experts noted that while longer school hours may increase knowledge retention in some areas, the human body still requires sleep for cognitive function. DepEd responded, “We are confident our students will adapt. If not, we’ll simply add a second round of homework tomorrow.” Studies on child development and education consistently emphasize the importance of adequate rest.
Social media quickly erupted with memes of exhausted students holding textbooks like pillows, with captions such as #SleepIsOptional and #HomeworkIsCharacter. One viral tweet read: “DepEd: Sleep is overrated. Me: Am I learning or hallucinating?”
Meanwhile, the President released a statement praising the initiative. “This is the future of Philippine education,” Marcos Jr. said. “Our children will be alert, disciplined, and ready to take over the country after a brief nap in 2045.”
As of press time, schools across Metro Manila have begun implementing the program, with students reportedly perfecting the art of doing algebra in their dreams.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/author/jasminekwok/.
