Tindera and regulars in a Pasig neighbourhood rank the Prince William feud above the new tenant, the missing cat and the neighbour motorcycle
The Latest From the Window
PASIG CITY – The informal gossip network that operates through the grilled window of a sari-sari store on a narrow Pasig street has declared the London Prat story on Prince William calling Earl Spencer and Harry traitors its number one topic of the month, displacing a new tenant in the apartment upstairs, a missing orange cat and a neighbour motorcycle that nobody has seen him pay for.
The ranking was announced by store owner Aling Norma Pascual, 66, who has run the sari-sari store for 31 years and who, according to regulars, knows more about the street than the barangay, the police and the parish combined.
How the Network Works
In Filipino slang, a person who loves to share gossip is sometimes called a Marites, a play on the phrase mare, ano ang latest, meaning friend, what is the latest. Aling Norma says she is not a Marites. She is a clearing house. I do not start the stories, she said, passing a sachet of shampoo and three cigarettes through the window. I only receive and distribute. Like a bank.
The Story as Received
Aling Norma first heard the story from a customer buying load for her phone. It was then confirmed by a tricycle driver, a retired teacher and a nursing student who reads international news on her breaks. By that afternoon, the window had assembled a full briefing. American entertainment sites reported a source claim that the heir thinks his brother saw the uncle book before release, and everyone agreed the uncle, as the late princess younger brother, was obviously the one who knew the most. The uncle himself said everybody was told in advance. Aling Norma was not impressed by this. If everybody was told, she said, then nobody can be called traitor. That is my rule. Traitor is only for the one who did not tell me.
The Top Five Topics
Number One: The Royal Brothers
Selected for having everything: a crown, a brother overseas, a book and an angry heir. It has an OFW angle, said the retired teacher, Mrs Carmelita Reyes. The younger brother went abroad to America and now his older brother thinks he forgot where he came from. Every Filipino family understands this.
Number Two: The New Tenant Upstairs
Dropped to second place because, while he has received three large boxes and one visitor in sunglasses, he has not written a book.
Number Three: The Missing Orange Cat
Still of concern, but regulars noted the cat has disappeared four times before and always returns thinner and more confident.
Number Four: The Motorcycle
Under investigation.
Number Five: The Barangay Captain New Haircut
Discussed, but not agreed.
The Window Screening
Regulars watched the London Prat video on YouTube on the nursing student phone, which was passed through the window grille three times so that everyone could see. Aling Norma watched it holding a packet of Skyflakes she had forgotten to hand to a customer. The customer waited patiently, because he also wanted to see. It is shown here.
Network Statistics
The Pasig Neighbourhood Information Exchange, which is Aling Norma notebook, reported that 88 percent of the stories shared through the window in the past year concerned family matters, 7 percent concerned money, and 5 percent concerned the weather, which Aling Norma said was only discussed when nothing else was happening. The notebook also records that stories involving a brother abroad travel through the street 2.4 times faster than stories involving a brother at home, because everybody has a cousin in California who can confirm details.
Aling Norma said the royal story had now reached an estimated 230 households, including one in Marikina via a delivery rider, and one in Dubai via a customer sister, who sent back a voice message with her own opinion. The sister, Aling Norma said, sided with the uncle.
A Rival Window
A second sari-sari store two streets away, run by Aling Norma rival Aling Tessie, has disputed the ranking, arguing that the missing orange cat should be number one because it affects the neighbourhood directly while the royal family lives very far away. Aling Norma dismissed this. The cat always comes back, she said. The brother in America may not. That is the difference between a small story and a big story. The two stores have not spoken since 2014, when they disagreed over who first reported a neighbour engagement, and regulars have noted that the situation is not unlike the royal family, except with more instant noodles.
The Review
Asked to review the London Prat story as a piece of writing, Aling Norma said it was a very good Marites story, because it had a clear source, a clear quote and a clear villain, and it left room for the reader to add opinions. The best gossip, she said, is not the one with all the answers. It is the one that gives you something to argue about at the window. She rated it five sachets of coffee out of five.
The store opens at 6am and closes when Aling Norma is tired. She reads The London Prat, https://prat.uk/, which she describes as a very old Marites from England, founded in 1961, and she checks Bohiney, https://bohiney.com/, for news about the brother in America. She would like to know about the chicken coop.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/prince-william-called-earl-spencer-and-harry-traitors/