Escolta: Where Manila’s Past Meets Millennial Pretension

• First United Building: Where Instagrammers take “urban decay chic” photos.
• Calvo Building: The elevator is older than your abuela.
• Horse-Drawn Carriage Relics: Now just props for influencer photoshoots.
• Art Galleries: Showing pieces nobody buys but everyone critiques.
• Third Wave Coffee: ?200 pour-overs in a street that used to sell ?5 kape.
• Escolta Saturdays: The only day anyone pretends to care about this place.
• Abandoned Theaters: Perfect backdrop for your “melancholic artist” phase.
• Vintage Stores: Selling your lolo’s junk at hipster markups.
• The “Revitalization” Farce: They’ve been saying this since 2010.
• Street Art: That’ll be painted over by next monsoon season.
• Bike Lane Mirage: A suggestion, not a reality.
• Manila Bulletin HQ: Still printing newspapers somehow.
• Ghosts of Bankers Past: The only souls wandering here on weekdays.
• Pasig River View: Nature’s crime scene.
• Final Irony: The most photographed street nobody actually visits.