Working Student Wanted for Child Abuse Arrested; Claims He Was Just “Practicing for a Role in a Teleserye”

By the Dramaturgical Deputies at bohiney.com

Serving scenes, satire, and subpoenas since 1947.

Arrest Warrant, Cue Lights, Camera… Action?

MANILA — A 21-year-old working student from Sampaloc, wanted for child abuse, stunned police officers upon arrest by tearfully exclaiming:

“You don’t understand! I was practicing for a teleserye audition! I’m method acting!”

According to Manila Police District spokesperson Lt. Linda Barubal, the suspect, Marco Alinsangan Jr., was apprehended outside a karaoke bar wearing a tank top, a fake neck brace, and clutching a monologue from Init sa Magdamag.

Bohiney Insight: Abuse or Audition?

The victim, a 12-year-old cousin, was reportedly subjected to overly dramatic shouting, intermittent crying, and two soap-opera-style slaps—accompanied by background music from a Bluetooth speaker.

“He called me ‘anak ng kasalanan!’ then threw a cup of water on the floor. He even told me to react dramatically.”

According to witnesses, Marco shouted,

“Take two!” before every slap.

What the Funny People Are Saying

“Only in the Philippines do you rehearse a crime like a scene for ABS-CBN.” — Vice Ganda

“Method acting, huh? I once pretended to be asleep to avoid my Lolo’s lectures. Does that count as performance art?” — Pokwang

“If you’re gonna be abusive, at least win an award for it.” — Jo Koy

The Arrest Scene: More Melodrama Than Law Enforcement

When the arresting team arrived, Marco reportedly:

• Shouted, “My sins have caught up with me, just like in Episode 47!”

• Attempted to escape by “storming dramatically out the door”

• Asked if he could “cry during the mugshot”

One officer said,

“Honestly? 9/10 acting. The slap had weight. I almost cried.”

BOHINEY’s Timeline of the Incident

• 10:00 AM: Marco rehearses dramatic confrontation lines in front of a mirror

• 11:15 AM: Slaps cousin while yelling, “You were never mine to raise!”

• 11:17 AM: Cousin records incident and uploads to TikTok

• 1:00 PM: Police receive complaint filed by the child’s parents (and 46k netizens)

• 4:00 PM: Marco caught practicing “crying while standing in the rain” outside Jollibee

Actor’s Defense: “I’m a Victim of My Craft”

Marco told police:

“I was channeling my inner Piolo. The tears, the trauma—it’s art!”

He cited a YouTube tutorial titled “How to Cry Like a Villain in 6 Steps.”

He even presented a “script,” written on the back of a 7-Eleven receipt, titled “Hanggang Sa Huli: The Reckoning of Tito Lito.”

Legal Analysts: The “Soap Defense” Is New But Possible

BOHINEY’s resident legal consultant, Atty. Chiqui Sandoval, commented:

“There’s no jurisprudence on ‘teleserye rehearsal’ as a defense for child abuse… but then again, this is the Philippines.”

BOHINEY Poll: What’s the Real Crime Here?

• Slapping a child “for the scene” – 41%

• Not actually getting the acting role – 33%

• Using Bluetooth speakers during abuse – 16%

• Wearing leather pants during mugshot – 7%

• Auditioning for a GMA drama while quoting ABS-CBN dialogue – 3%

Audition Tape Leaked Online

Marco’s “audition reel,” featuring six takes of slapping and over-pronouncing “galit,” now has 1.3 million views.

One commenter wrote:

“Honestly, he’s better than half the cast of Ang Probinsyano Season 23.”

Another replied:

“This would slap… if it didn’t involve an actual child.”

Reaction from Real Actors

John Arcilla:

“Acting is a craft, not a criminal defense.”

Maja Salvador:

“Honey, you don’t get into the industry by traumatizing kids. You get in by traumatizing yourself on ‘It’s Showtime.’”

Baron Geisler:

“I tried that defense once. The judge didn’t like it. But the cameraman did.”

TikTok Split: “Justice or Drama?”

Some users are defending Marco under the hashtag #ActingLangPo, while others have launched #MethodActMyFace to protest:

“Child abuse isn’t a workshop, bro.”
“This isn’t StarStruck, it’s a felony.”

Barangay Cultural Council Responds

Kapitan Gardo Mangubat, head of the Sampaloc Barangay Cultural Council, released this statement:

“We encourage local talent. We discourage physical assault disguised as art. Also, the role he was rehearsing went to someone from Cavite.”

Scene Re-Enactment Goes Viral on Eat Bulaga

During their “Bawal Judgmental” segment, comedians Wally and Jose reenacted the arrest:

Wally as Marco: “I didn’t hit him. I emotionally corrected his character arc!”

Jose as police: “You have the right to remain silent… unless you’re doing a soliloquy.”

Director Confirms: “We Never Called Him”

The casting director of the teleserye “Hanggang Kailan Ka Magtitiis?” clarified:

“We don’t know this person. He submitted an application written in eyeliner. We thought it was a joke. Turns out, it was a prelude to a warrant.”

Official Sentencing Pending, but “Community Theater” Likely

Sources say Marco may be sentenced to:

• 120 hours of community theater

• Role as “background person #3” in a regional anti-bullying PSA

• Watching the entire Batang Quiapo series without blinking

What Carlos Yulo Thinks (Because Why Not?)

Reached at a gym in Tokyo, Carlos said:

“I don’t know what this is about, but if you need a backflip to escape legal issues, I can’t help you.”

Final Word from Bohiney

In a nation where politics, pageants, and police work often resemble performance art, it’s no wonder someone confused criminal behavior for creative expression.

But remember: real drama ends with applause—not arrest warrants.

Act responsibly. Cry on cue, not on your cousin.

Visit bohiney.com for auditions, disclaimers, and emergency theater rehab.