Schools Add “Mandatory Tumbling” to Curriculum

Schools Add “Mandatory Tumbling” to Curriculum

In partnership with DepEd, public schools will implement a new subject: Physical Civics: National Gymnastics & Patriotism. Final exam: one clean roundoff, graded by barangay officials and a group of retired cheerleaders from FEU.

“We believe flipping for the country strengthens discipline, core strength, and selective memory,” said DepEd spokesperson Lineth Tagilid.

Private schools are protesting, insisting ballet and fencing should count. One Montessori parent attempted to negotiate by offering interpretive “emotional flips.”


PhilHealth Warns of “Backflip Surge”

PhilHealth spokesperson Donna Duwag confirmed that August 4 now has its own ICD code: “YULO-1 Syndrome: Gymnastically Induced Collapse of National Stability.”

All injuries must be accompanied by proof of attempted patriotism, or reimbursement will be paid in commemorative hotpacks.


Official Carlos Yulo Day Merchandise

In collaboration with SM Department Stores and Bohiney.com, the following are now available:

  • “FLIP FOR THE FATHERLAND” wristbands

  • Foam mats printed with inspirational Yulo quotes (“I flipped, therefore I am.”)

  • Stretchable barong tagalog made for gymnastics

  • A prayer candle that smells like liniment


Tourists Caught in the Crossflip

A group of confused German backpackers visiting Intramuros were detained for “insufficient flipping.” One claimed he thought “Carlos Yulo” was a cocktail.

They have since been released after doing synchronized jazz hands and pledging ₱200 to the National Leotard Fund.


Bonus Quote from a Street Philosopher

Manong Greg, 78, on a folding chair in Tondo:

“Carlos Yulo Day is fine, but can I flip the government instead?”


Closing Message from City Hall

Mayor Lacuna posted on Instagram:

“This is about national movement—physically and emotionally. It’s about pushing ourselves, uniting our muscle cramps, and telling the world, ‘Kaya natin… kahit masakit.’”


Final Bohiney Reflection

They say politics is just gymnastics in barong—full of flips, spins, and unearned applause.

But for one day, Manila asks not for taxes or permits… just one backflip, a little dizziness, and a whole lot of Filipino spirit.

And if you can’t land on your feet—just land with love. And maybe a mat.

Tagalog ng flip? Mahal mo ang bansa.
Visit bohiney.com to order your leotard, liniment, and laminated waiver.

By Lourdes Tiu

Lourdes Tiu is a celebrated satirist with over a decade of experience, has been featured in major publications like Mad Magazine and The Onion for her incisive wit and has served as a keynote speaker at the National Satire Writers Conference, establishing her as a trusted authority in political and social satire. Lourdes' educational journey began at the University of Chicago, where she majored in Political Science, providing her with a deep understanding of the political landscape that she so brilliantly critiques in her work. She further honed her craft by completing a Master’s degree in Creative Writing from Columbia University, with a focus on satire and comedic writing, under the mentorship of some of the country’s most celebrated humorists.