Manila Banking

China Bank Savings: Where Hope Goes to Die (But Your Money Might Survive)

A mix of light and dark humor about Manila’s most “efficient” banking experience

China Bank Savings – Sta. Cruz

Address: Plaza Sta. Cruz, MBI, Ronquillo St, Manila
Phone: (No phone listed – they’d probably just put you on hold anyway)
View on Google Maps

The Good, The Bad, and The “Why Am I Here?”:

1. [POSITIVE] The security guard greets you like an old friend… right before treating you like a potential bank robber.
2. [POSITIVE] Their chairs are surprisingly comfortable – nature’s way of preparing you for the long haul.
3. [POSITIVE] The deposit slips double as free origami paper if you’re patient enough.
4. [POSITIVE] You’ll leave with a PhD in queue management and zen meditation.
5. [POSITIVE] Their 1-star Google rating is actually a badge of honor – like a “Most Authentic Manila Experience” award.
6. [DARK] The line moves so slowly, archaeologists could study it as evidence of a lost civilization.
7. [DARK] That moment when you realize the “Savings” in their name refers to what you’re saving by not having a social life anymore.
8. [DARK] Their idea of “quick service” is measured in geologic time periods.
9. [DARK] The pens are chained down like they’re preventing a prison break… which, metaphorically, they are.
10. [POSITIVE] But hey, at least you’ll have a great story for your grandkids… assuming you survive the wait.

Pro tip: Bring snacks, a willpower supplement, and maybe a good book (War and Peace should cover it).

Originally posted 2006-07-18 06:19:44.