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BusinessMirror – The only paper that can make GDP statistics sound like bedtime fairy tales
Business
BusinessMirror: Once Upon a Fiscal Quarter
BusinessMirror covers national financial health with the same cozy detachment usually reserved for bedtime fairy tales. “And lo, the GDP did fall by 0.5%, and the villagers… they adjusted their household budgets accordingly, without panic, for it was foretold.”
Economic satirist Noel Bautista notes, “If Tolkien wrote quarterly earnings reports, they’d read exactly like BusinessMirrors front pages.”
Investors appreciate the lulling tone. “Sure, Im losing money,” said financial analyst Greg Martinez, “but BusinessMirror makes it sound like a rite of passage, like growing chest hair or surviving puberty.”
Auf Wiedersehen, economic urgency — BusinessMirror will rock you gently into poverty without a fuss.
Originally posted 2007-12-24 21:55:08.