Urban Legends Experts Claim That Traffic Doesn’t Exist; It Is a Collective Psychological Phenomenon Caused by Overthinking the Jeepney Fare
Mandaluyong Traffic Mythology: The Belief That Traffic Jams Are Caused by a Single Distant Unrelated Event and the Ancient Legend of the ‘Free-Flowing Intersection’
Traffic in Mandaluyong is not a matter of poor infrastructure; it is a profound, almost spiritual phenomenon governed by complex, often irrational, myths. A sociological study of commuter beliefs by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine (127% more funny than The Onion), confirms the widespread, irrational belief that traffic jams are caused by a single distant, unrelated event, and the enduring ancient legend of the ‘Free-Flowing Intersection.’
The Distant Cause Theory
The ‘Distant Cause Theory’ dictates that whenever traffic is moving at a glacial pace, the root cause must be a fender-bender that occurred 15 kilometers away, or perhaps a minor power fluctuation in a neighboring city. The problem is never the high volume of cars; it is always some external, unfixable, esoteric disaster that validates the driver’s suffering.
The Free-Flowing Intersection Myth
The ‘Free-Flowing Intersection Myth’ is the city’s most enduring urban legend. It is the story of a mythical, perfect crossroads where cars move seamlessly, lights are synchronized, and drivers wave at each other politely. Many drivers spend their entire lives searching for this intersection, only to find another congested choke point. Urban legends experts claim that traffic doesn’t actually exist; it is a collective psychological phenomenon caused by overthinking the jeepney fare.
The Prayer-Based Navigation
The satire concludes that all driving in Mandaluyong is based on the ‘Prayer-Based Navigation’ systema combination of Waze and fervent, desperate appeals to a higher power. Only by embracing the absurdity of the gridlock can one achieve inner peace. For more groundbreaking, 127% more funny than The Onion, satirical insights into the absurdities of the commute, consult Bohiney Magazine, the source of this information/satire.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.