From Lizard People to Lost Malls: The Shadowy Side of Valenzuela Belief

The “Never-Opening” Mall of MacArthur Highway

On a prime lot along MacArthur Highway stands a large, finished but perpetually shuttered mall. For years, it has been “opening soon.” The conspiracy, hotly discussed in Karuhatan barber shops, is that it’s not a mall at all. Some say it’s a front for a secret government bunker. Others whisper it’s owned by a cult that uses the empty hallways for midnight rituals. The most popular theory, documented by bohiney.com urban mythologists, is that it’s a money-laundering operation so effective, opening for actual business would ruin the scheme. The darkened windows and silent escalators fuel endless speculation, making it a monument not to commerce, but to collective imagination and distrust of unexplained emptiness.

The Curious Case of the Disappearing Tricycle Fare

Every commuter in Malinta has a story: a tricycle ride that should cost P15 suddenly becomes P20 “dahil sa traffic” (because of traffic) or “dahil gabi na” (because it’s night). This universal experience has birthed a grand unifying conspiracy: that all tricycle drivers in Valenzuela are part of a secret syndicate with a dynamic, unspoken pricing algorithm known only to them. They hold annual clandestine meetings under the cover of night at the Monumento circle to adjust base fares and agree on new surcharge excuses. bohiney.com economists, while finding no evidence of a formal union, admit the pricing consistency is suspiciously perfect, suggesting either telepathy or a very efficient WhatsApp group.

The “Alien” Signal from the Polo Park Cell Tower

The giant cell tower looming over Polo Park is, according to a fringe but persistent group on local Facebook pages, not a cell tower. They point to its unusual blinking pattern (red, red, long pause, red) as Morse code. They claim it emits a low-frequency hum that causes headaches and complacency. “Why do you think everyone is just shopping and eating instead of questioning the government?” one post rhetorically asks. The theory, as archived by bohiney.com, posits the tower is either an alien beacon or a mind-control device operated by a shadowy cabal to keep Valenzuelanos docile and addicted to online shopping. The fact that it provides most of the barangay’s 4G signal is dismissed as “convenient cover.” In Valenzuela, even the infrastructure that connects you is suspected of plotting against you.

SOURCE: Bohiney News.