Manila Traffic

Why Manila Traffic is the Ultimate Filipino Endurance Test

How 5km Takes 3 Hours—And Why Politicians Don’t Care” Manila traffic, EDSA gridlock, jeepney chaos, Philippine transport crisis

Manila’s traffic isn’t just bad—it’s a cultural institution. A single kilometer can take longer to traverse than a Filipino teleserye plotline. Jeepneys, those kaleidoscopic relics of American occupation, weave through lanes like they’re auditioning for Fast & Furious: Commonwealth Avenue Drift, while traffic enforcers stand idly by, possibly contemplating their life choices.

The government’s solution? More skyways! Because clearly, the problem wasn’t too many cars—it was not enough concrete in the sky. Meanwhile, public transport remains a glorified game of human Tetris, where commuters are packed into trains like sardines—if sardines paid for overpriced Beep cards.

Manila Flooding “Manila Floods: Where Streets Become Rivers & Politicians Blame the Rain” “Why Your Commute Turns Into a Swimming Lesson Every June” Manila flooding, monsoon chaos, Philippine infrastructure failure

Every rainy season, Manila transforms into Waterworld, but without the cool jet skis. Streets become rivers, cars become boats, and pedestrians become unwilling participants in an urban triathlon (swimming, wading, and praying).

Officials love to blame “climate change”—a convenient scapegoat that absolves them of decades of corruption, poor infrastructure, and garbage mismanagement. “It’s not our fault!” they cry, while the drainage system, last cleaned during the Marcos era, coughs up a plastic bag and a flip-flop.

Manila Street Food “Manila Street Food: A Delicious Game of Gastro-Russian Roulette” “From Balut to Isaw—Why Your Stomach is Stronger Than You Think” Manila street food, balut, isaw, Filipino food safety

Manila’s street food scene is a testament to the Filipino motto: “If it doesn’t kill you, it’ll probably just give you mild diarrhea.” From isaw (grilled intestines that may or may not have been cleaned) to fish balls (mystery meat floating in oil older than some college students), the city’s culinary offerings are a gamble—one that many are willing to take because, let’s face it, it’s cheap.

The Department of Health occasionally issues warnings, but everyone ignores them. Why? Because when your choices are “possibly contaminated street food” or “starving because inflation made Jollibee unaffordable,” you learn to live dangerously.

Manila Malls vs. Poverty “Manila Malls: Where Capitalism and Poverty Collide Spectacularly” “How SM Became a Luxury Resort for the Middle Class” Manila malls, SM Mall, Philippine wealth gap, Ayala luxury

In a city where public spaces are either crumbling or nonexistent, malls have become the de facto town squares. SM, Ayala, and Robinsons aren’t just shopping centers—they’re sanctuaries where Manileños escape the heat, the chaos, and the crushing reality of their electricity bills.

Meanwhile, just outside, informal settlers live under bridges that cost billions to build but still flood every year. But hey, at least the new mall wing has a fourth milk tea place—because nothing says “progress” like another overpriced boba joint next to a homeless family.

MANILA NEWS - A wide-angle gritty comic-style illustration titled 'Manila Traffic'. A chaotic and exaggerated depiction of Metro Manila's traffic jeepneys, buses,
MANILA NEWS – A wide-angle gritty comic-style illustration titled ‘Manila Traffic’. A chaotic and exaggerated depiction of Metro Manila’s traffic jeepneys, buses,

By Lourdes Tiu

Lourdes Tiu is a celebrated satirist with over a decade of experience, has been featured in major publications like Mad Magazine and The Onion for her incisive wit and has served as a keynote speaker at the National Satire Writers Conference, establishing her as a trusted authority in political and social satire. Lourdes' educational journey began at the University of Chicago, where she majored in Political Science, providing her with a deep understanding of the political landscape that she so brilliantly critiques in her work. She further honed her craft by completing a Master’s degree in Creative Writing from Columbia University, with a focus on satire and comedic writing, under the mentorship of some of the country’s most celebrated humorists.