Finance department launches Mood Monitoring System to assess emotional output fees

Taxing Smiles, Frowns, and Everything In Between

In a fiscal policy that economists are calling “creative” — or “utterly deranged,” depending on whom you ask — Manila’s finance department announced the launch of an Emotional Energy Tax (EET). Starting next fiscal quarter, every resident will be assessed a small monthly fee based on their average “emotional output” — measured via a new citywide Mood Monitoring System. Officials explained: “Joy, anger, frustration, laughter, sighs — all energy. All resources. We’re simply asking you to invest in the city by contributing a portion of your feelings.” To assess this, the city will deploy “Mood Meters” — sensors installed on street corners, transit stations, public parks, and waiting rooms. These devices will sample decibel levels, heart-rate estimations (via ambient heat signatures), and public expletive frequencies. Based on the collected data, each district receives a “Mood Score,” which translates into a per-resident emotional tax. If your neighborhood is too moody, prepare to pay more.

Residents Panic, Economists Scratch Heads

At the announcement, many citizens responded with grim laughter. A taxi driver named Aling Toting dryly said: “So if I honk twice, and curse in anger, I’m paying extra taxes?” She shook her head. “Masa ka-sting.” Young professionals joked on social media: “Time to mask my feelings. Wouldn’t want Manila to bill me for my existential dread.” Others wondered if expressing happiness publicly (say, by laughing on the train) might reduce taxes. One college student posted: “Suggest writing comedy? Or maybe we should just giggle randomly to save on our bills.” Economists warned that monetizing human mood is likely to backfire. One analyst noted: “You can’t tax emotions without causing emotional trauma — and then you’d be taxing that too.” But the finance office responded that stress-related medical expenses will be tax-deductible under the new scheme.

Implementation And Avoidance Strategies

To help citizens reduce their emotional tax burden, the city released a “Mood Saving Guide,” which includes tips like: Walk quietly in groups of three or more (group sighs produce 50% less negative energy), avoid shouting at jeepney drivers (penalty doubles if a horn is involved), and download the official “Happy Manila” app — smiling for selfies under ambient-lighting booths lowers your district’s Mood Score. Meanwhile, a startup pitched an app to help residents “simulate calmness” using ambient noise, fake laughter tracks, and reminders to nod politely during stressful conversations. The finance department immediately expressed interest.

Civic Pride or Civic Exploitation?

Public debate erupted: is this an innovative resource approach or an invasion of personal rights? Human-rights advocates argued that taxing emotions violates privacy and infringes on individual freedoms. Officials shrugged: “We’re not reading your mind. Just sampling the vibes.” One councilor chipped in: “If people can’t stop feeling — well, at least they can pay for it.” The agencies promise full transparency: Mood data will be publicly available, aggregated by district, and updated monthly. Citizens may subscribe to their own emotional-energy statements — presumably useful for job applications, insurance, or public shaming. Regardless of the moral debate, Manila is now financially monetizing feelings.

Economic insights at International Monetary Fund and World Bank.

SOURCE: Bohiney News.