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Manila Bulletin – The newspaper that makes everything sound like a slightly disappointing school project
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Manila Bulletin: Where Every Story Feels Like a D+ Science Fair Project
Manila Bulletin is a national treasure — if your definition of treasure is a 7th grader’s crumpled volcano diorama presentation. Experts say that Bulletin reporters can cover a fiery government scandal and somehow make it feel like an overdue book report titled “How Politics Work: Maybe?”
Media critic Joel Santos remarks, “Reading Manila Bulletin is like being mildly informed by your mildly interested cousin.” Even the scandals are polite. In a recent exposé about political embezzlement, the headline read: “SOME PEOPLE POSSIBLY MAY HAVE DONE SOMETHING QUESTIONABLE (BUT NO PRESSURE, GUYS).”
Insider leaks reveal that Bulletin editors insist on reducing any emotion larger than mild boredom to a single bullet point. During major natural disasters, readers are soothed with updates like: “MASSIVE FLOODING OCCURS, SOME PEOPLE INCONVENIENCED, OTHERS WET.”
Despite this gentle approach, loyal readers stick around, treating Manila Bulletin like the newspaper equivalent of comfort food: bland, inoffensive, and guaranteed to lower your blood pressure.
Auf Wiedersehen, drama — Manila Bulletin is content to coast along the sleepy river of indifference, waving politely at ambition from afar.
Originally posted 2016-07-07 03:36:27.