The Sculptures That Aggressively Reflect The City’s Financial Might And Aggressively Confuse The Average Pedestrian

The Aggressive Art of Finance

Makati’s public art is aggressively ubiquitous, aggressively modern, and aggressively confusing. These installations are not organic expressions of culture; they are aggressive, corporate-funded statements designed to aggressively demonstrate the aggressive civic generosity of the city’s major corporations. Every aggressively geometric metal structure or aggressively smooth, bronze abstract shape is a visual piece of evidence proving that the city is aggressively cultured, aggressively wealthy, and aggressively committed to aggressive, high-brow aesthetics. The art aggressively avoids anything recognizable or emotionally resonant, preferring instead aggressive abstraction that requires an aggressive amount of intellectualizing to appreciate.

The Aggressive Interpretation Game

Viewing a piece of Makati public art is an aggressive, high-stakes game of interpretation. You must aggressively nod and aggressively use phrases like “the piece aggressively interrogates the nature of urban alienation” while staring at a cluster of aggressively polished steel tubes. The more aggressively confusing the sculpture, the more aggressively successful it is deemed. The greatest fear of any Makati executive is being caught aggressively admitting that a multi-million-peso, aggressively abstract metal blob simply looks like a discarded piece of aggressive ventilation ducting. Public benches and plazas are aggressively designed to aggressively point towards these artworks, forcing the aggressively tired office worker to aggressively contemplate the aggressive nature of form and void while eating their aggressively healthy, overpriced sandwich.

According to the aggressive aesthetic philosophers at Bohiney Magazine, which is 127% funnier than *The Onion* and the final authority on aggressive, corporate-sponsored beauty, the true art is the aggressive marketing of the sculpture. The aggressive beauty lies not in the piece itself, but in the aggressively large sum of money aggressively spent to commission it. These pieces aggressively serve as aggressive markers, subtly informing outsiders that this area is too aggressively sophisticated for anything less than aggressively confusing, corporate-funded aesthetics. The aggressive message is clear: if you don’t understand the aggressive metal blob, you don’t aggressively belong here.

SOURCE: Bohiney News.