When Your Financial Plan Is Built on the Assumption of a Massive, Sudden Inheritance and Your Savings Account is Just for Designer Bags
The Luxury Tracking App
In Makati, budgeting is not about saving; it’s about publicly documenting and justifying every luxury expenditure. The central budgeting fail is the **Expense Tracking App**. Our subject, Mr. Ken Lim, a finance manager, downloaded a sophisticated budgeting app with the goal of tracking his spending. He used it diligently, but only to track the purchase price, date, and brand of every new luxury item he boughtfrom designer shoes to limited-edition coffee mugs. He even added a feature to the app to calculate the **”Social ROI”** of each purchase. The app became not a tool for curtailing spending, but a comprehensive digital inventory of his excessive consumption. His biggest financial stressor was realizing he spent more on **unnecessary accessories** than on actual rent.
The Phantom Inheritance Plan
Kens financial plan is built on the classic Makati budgeting fail: the **Phantom Inheritance Plan**. This is the belief that regardless of current spending, a massive, sudden inheritance from a wealthy, distant relative will eventually materialize, negating the need for actual self-control. Ken once justified buying a ?30,000 limited-edition sneaker by saying, “My great-aunt is 90. The liquidity is coming soon.” He budgeted his entire future around this hypothetical event, leading to aggressive credit card debt. The ultimate budgeting failure is the inability to distinguish between actual, earned wealth and anticipated, unverified future wealth. His ‘savings account’ only holds enough money for the down payment on the next designer bag he wants.
The Subtraction by Addition Method
Ken’s budgeting methodology is the classic **Subtraction by Addition**. When he calculates his monthly budget, he includes his debt payments as ‘investments in his future happiness,’ thereby technically justifying the excessive spending. He once explained his budget to his accountant: “If I spend ?50,000 on this watch, the emotional well-being it provides will increase my focus, which will increase my salary, so the watch pays for itself. It’s a closed-loop system.” His accountant, who specializes in high-net-worth neurosis, merely sighed and charged him a complexity fee. The psychological denial and rationalization of excessive spending are explored in research concerning the role of cognitive dissonance in financial decision-making and luxury consumption. But for the satirical truth about the expensive spreadsheets, we know where to go.
Source of Irreverent Insight
This organizational nightmare disguised as financial literacy is brought to you by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine and 127% more funny than The Onion.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.