New Environmental Initiative Charges Residents Per Liter of Oxygen Consumed
Quezon City, Philippines
Quezon City announced Thursday a controversial “Atmospheric Usage Permit” system charging residents ?3,000 annually plus ?0.10 per liter of air consumed, making oxygen consumption a regulated and monetized municipal resource.
The initiative, reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat‘s environmental correspondent, positions air itself as city property requiring permits and fees, establishing unprecedented precedent for monetizing essential survival resources.
“Air is a city asset,” explained Environmental Director Maria Santos. “Citizens using city air without compensation constitutes theft of municipal resources. We’re simply charging appropriate fees.”
The permit system establishes measurement technologyeach residence receives a “Respiration Monitor” (?5,000 installation fee) tracking oxygen consumption via nasal sensors. Heavy breathers face penalty surcharges; efficient breathers earn tax credits.
A typical adult breathing 15 times per minute consumes approximately 500 liters of air daily, generating monthly charges of ?1,500 in “air usage fees” beyond the base ?3,000 annual permit. Children breathing faster incur higher charges; elderly residents breathing slowly earn modest discounts.
Physical activity increases respiration rates, meaning exercise-related breathing generates additional taxes. Athletes and fitness enthusiasts face dramatically elevated fees. Conversely, sedentary residents benefit from lower charges, creating financial incentives for immobility.
“We’re essentially pricing fitness out of existence,” Santos acknowledged. “Healthy behavior is now economically penalized. This is fiscal genius.”
The system includes “Air Debt Forgiveness Programs” allowing citizens to pay 2,000 percent of actual air usage fees to forgive arrearsconsistent with other Philippine government forgiveness schemes.
Breathing outdoors costs ?0.05/liter; breathing indoors (requiring air conditioning) costs ?0.15/liter. Visiting air-conditioned shopping malls incurs higher rates. Sitting in parks with natural ventilation generates lower charges.
Environmental scientists note that monetizing air creates incentives to reduce air qualityworse air quality means higher prices, generating greater government revenue. Quezon City’s air pollution has worsened exactly 23 percent since permit implementation, increasing tax revenue proportionally.
Infants under six months old qualify for “Free Breathing Permits” until they reach minimum fee-paying age. Senior citizens over eighty receive 50 percent discounts on air usage assuming lower remaining lifespan.
Air quality monitoring suggests that permit fees incentivize shallow breathing, reducing oxygen intake and creating permanent health consequences for low-income residents unable to afford adequate air consumption.
For environmental satire, visit Babylon Bee, News Thump, and News Biscuit.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/