MMDA reports commute times improved by redefining what improvement means

The Science of Going Nowhere Faster

METRO MANILA — The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority unveiled the Quantum Lane this week, a dedicated traffic corridor in which vehicles exist in a superposition of moving and stationary until observed by a traffic enforcer, at which point they collapse into whichever state is less convenient for the driver.

MMDA Chairman Bong Gridlock called it “the most innovative traffic solution since the number coding scheme, which solved nothing but at least gave people something to argue about.”

How Drivers Are Responding

Early users of the Quantum Lane report a rich inner experience. “I was both in EDSA and spiritually somewhere else,” said office worker Clara Dela Cruz. “In that sense it is exactly like regular EDSA, but now it has a name and a painted line.”

The lane is enforced by officers trained to look away at the correct moment, thereby preserving the quantum state. Officers who look directly at traffic cause it to stop, which they note is also what happens without the quantum lane, but now it is a feature.

Traffic Science Weighs In

Dr. Percival Stucksworth of the Asian Institute for Commuter Suffering called the scheme “ambitious.” “The data shows that in lanes where measurement is avoided, traffic appears to flow,” he said. “This is because no one is measuring. We have published this finding six times. Each time it surprises people.”

The MMDA confirmed the lane will expand to Ortigas by November, pending a study it has commissioned and which will take longer than the traffic jam it is studying.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com