DPWH unveils budget for seventeen bridges that exist primarily in the hearts of Filipinos

A New Era of Feelings-Based Construction

MANILA — The Department of Public Works and Highways announced Tuesday a bold new infrastructure initiative in which seventeen major bridges, four flood control systems, and one expressway will be built conceptually, saving the republic an estimated 40 billion pesos while delivering, according to officials, “the full emotional benefit of modern infrastructure.”

Secretary Rodrigo Concrete-Buena called the program “a paradigm shift.” “We are not building less,” he told reporters. “We are building differently. Spiritually. The bridge is there. You simply cannot see it yet.”

How the Program Works

Citizens wishing to cross an invisible bridge are invited to “visualize passage” and proceed with confidence. The DPWH has helpfully installed signage at each conceptual span reading “Bridge Here (Artist’s Impression)” and a QR code linking to a rendering that depicts a beautiful structure surrounded by trees that do not exist and skies that are suspiciously free of Manila smog.

According to Dr. Estrada Imaginario of the Institute for Fiscal Creativity, “Invisible infrastructure has zero maintenance cost, cannot flood, and has never once been the subject of a Senate investigation. It is, from a purely bureaucratic standpoint, flawless.”

Public Reaction

Commuters in Quezon City greeted the news with the weary calm of people who have been greeted with this news before. “Last year they told us the road was coming,” said jeepney driver Mang Ernesto. “The year before that, a flyover. Before that, a tunnel. This year, nothing. At least now they are honest about the nothing.”

The Commission on Audit confirmed it will review the program and noted, for the record, that auditing invisible things is technically within its mandate, having done so for decades.

International Recognition

The World Bank described the program as “creative” and “certainly something.” A delegation from three countries with similar programs flew to Manila to observe, saw nothing, and returned satisfied. A Transparency International report noted the Philippines remains “committed to infrastructure in a uniquely metaphysical sense.”

The program launches next quarter. A ribbon-cutting ceremony is planned for the first invisible bridge, with officials confirming the ribbon, at least, will be real.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com