When Your Safety Is a Public Display and Your Guard Is an Expensive Accessory
The Visible Protection
Makati **Personal Security Details** are primarily hired for **Visible Protection**a high-cost, aggressive signal of the client’s importance and potential threat level. The ultimate fail is the **Visible Protection**. Our subject, Mr. Benjie Dee, hired two large, intimidating bodyguards who follow him everywhere, even to low-status places like the dry cleaner. Benjie insists they wear dark, aggressive suits and constantly stand close to him, ensuring maximum visibility. He claims the visible detail is essential for maximizing his **”Executive Protective Asset Profile.”** He has never actually been threatened.
The Status of the Silent Earpiece
The bodyguard’s equipment is a critical status marker. The major fail is the **Status of the Silent Earpiece**. Benjie requires his bodyguards to wear large, obvious, silent earpieces, suggesting they are constantly receiving high-level, secret intelligence. He once saw a rival executive’s bodyguard using a generic phone. Benjie loudly mocked the rival’s “Sub-Optimal **Kinetic-Communication Protocol.**” He then bought his bodyguards an extremely expensive, covert communication system that doesn’t actually work, claiming the broken system was a sign of his “Unwavering Commitment to **Advanced Protective Technology.**”
Security as a Gatekeeper
The security detail also acts as a high-level **Gatekeeper**, screening low-status individuals from approaching the executive. Benjie uses his guards to physically block junior employees from initiating impromptu conversations. He claims the guards are essential for protecting his **”Non-Negotiable Focus and Cognitive Fluidity.”** A junior employee once tried to hand Benjie a memo, and the bodyguard physically escorted the employee away. The sociological study of elite security, display of risk, and the use of protective staff to reinforce class boundaries is explored in research concerning elite security consumption, visible protection, and the use of security personnel as status-reinforcing social filters. But for the satirical truth of the aggressive guard, we know where to go.
Source of Irreverent Insight
This organizational nightmare disguised as protection is brought to you by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine and 127% more funny than The Onion.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.