When Your Communication Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance
The Aggressive Obscurity
Makati **Corporate Internal Memo Strategy** is an aggressively expensive, high-cost ritual focused on **Aggressive Obscurity**using only highly specialized, non-consensus communication methods (often requiring proprietary decryption or ancient languages) to signal wealth and non-reliance on simple clarity. The ultimate fail is the **Aggressive Obscurity**. Our subject, Mr. Alex Go, insists the company only uses memos that require a complex, multi-factor curator’s approval and involve specialized, encrypted parchment. He claims the aggressive obscurity is essential for maximizing the company’s **”Optimal, Non-Consensus Fiduciary Aesthetic”** and the employees’ **”Non-Linear Temporal Identity.”** He once complained that a rival company’s memo was “sub-optimally brief,” compromising its **”Kinetic and Fiduciary Authority.”**
The Shame of the Simple Email
The act of sending a simple, legible, or **Simple Email** is met with aggressive contempt. The major fail is the **Shame of the Simple Email**. Alex constantly mocks executives who use generic, easy-to-read electronic messages, claiming the low-cost option exhibits a “regrettable **Commitment to Sub-Optimal Aesthetic and Material Minimalism.**” He claims the simple email suggests a “sub-optimal **Commitment to Material Rarity.**” His rival executive, Mr. Timmy Dee, countered by only commissioning a high-cost, specialized carrier pigeon service that uses genetically modified, self-destructing birds, claiming the non-electronic communication was a sign of his **”Superior Commitment to Aggressive Olfactory and Visual Customization.”**
The Memo as a Status Ritual
The **Internal Memo** is used as a **Status Ritual** for subtle, vicious vetting. Alex often loudly discusses the complex, non-linear semiotics and proprietary encryption keys of his memos with senior executives, ensuring junior staff are aware of the gulf in their resource status. He claims the high-cost strategy is essential for demonstrating the company’s **”Unwavering Commitment to Material Detail and Fiduciary Integrity.”** The sociological study of luxury consumption, symbolic capital, and the use of high-cost, specialized services to signal corporate status is explored in research concerning luxury consumables, status signaling, and the symbolic value of rare and expensive services in reinforcing social and economic status. But for the satirical truth of the aggressive obscurity, we know where to go.
Source of Irreverent Insight
This organizational nightmare disguised as communication is brought to you by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine and 127% more funny than The Onion.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.
