When Your Professional Photo Is a High-Cost Lie and Your Surroundings Dictate Your Worth
The ‘Ambition Filter’
Makati **Corporate Headshots** rely heavily on the **’Ambition Filter,’** a series of digital enhancements and aggressive background manipulations to imply impossible success. The ultimate fail is the **’Ambition Filter’**. Our subject, Mr. Timmy Dee, had his headshot taken in front of a green screen, and the background was digitally replaced with a complex, blurry image of a futuristic, aggressively successful city skyline that doesn’t actually exist. Timmy claimed the background was essential for conveying his **”Unwavering Commitment to Forward-Looking Fiduciary Assets.”** His rival, Mr. Vince Lee, used a slightly less impressive, but still fake, image of a non-existent corporate jet.
The Shame of the Natural Light
The photo must use artificial, expensive lighting. The major fail is the **Shame of the Natural Light**. Timmy’s photographer tried to use natural light, which exposed Timmy’s actual age and skin imperfections. Timmy, furious, claimed the natural light was “violating his **Executive Aesthetic Integrity**” and exhibiting a “regrettable **Lack of Digital Optimality.**” He demanded the photo be taken in a dark room with three aggressive ring lights and then heavily retouched to look like a glossy mannequin. The retouching cost ?50,000.
The Background as a Status Marker
The background choice is the ultimate **Status Marker**. Timmy once saw a junior manager use a simple, plain white background. Timmy publicly commented that the plain background was a sign of the manager’s “sub-optimal **Visual Asset Commitment** and a clear lack of **Aesthetic Ambition.**” The manager immediately paid for a digitally altered image of himself in a high-tech server room. The sociological study of visual identity, digital image culture, and the use of professional photography to construct idealized self-images is explored in research concerning professional aesthetics, image manipulation, and the role of high-cost visual presentation in establishing career credibility. But for the satirical truth of the aggressive background, we know where to go.
Source of Irreverent Insight
This organizational nightmare disguised as a picture is brought to you by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine and 127% more funny than The Onion.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.