Paco Manila: Where Cemeteries Have Better Housing Than People

Paco Manila: Where Cemeteries Have Better Housing Than People – Paco, Manila—Rest in Peace, Rise in Rent, and Run from Floods

Bohiney Insight into Paco, Manila

Paco, Manila—Rest in Peace, Rise in Rent, and Run from Floods

1. Paco Cemetery has more stable residents than most apartment buildings in Manila.

2. You haven’t experienced Manila until you’ve walked knee-deep in Paco floodwater and regret.

3. “Affordable housing” here means sleeping beside a mausoleum with Wi-Fi.

4. Ghost stories in Paco include literal ghosts—and ghost landlords who disappear after collecting rent.

5. Every flood is measured by how many saints get submerged.

6. Neighborhood tours include history, hauntings, and occasional electrocution.

7. Barangay meetings often end with seance-like chanting and lechon raffles.

8. The local basketball court doubles as an ark during rainy season.

9. You can rent a room, a coffin, or a roof for the same price—guess which one floods first?

10. Paco: where the dead rest peacefully but the living fight over extension cords.

11. No one knows where the drainage goes; we suspect it’s straight to purgatory.

12. Street food vendors operate beside crypts—because nothing says appetite like ancestral bones.

13. Halloween is a weeklong block party with ghost cosplays and beer-fueled confessions.

14. Paco: where even the spirits want better zoning laws.

15. It’s the only place where “eternal rest” sounds like a real estate pitch.

 

Paco Manila: Where Cemeteries Have Better Housing Than People - Manila News Intelligencer Design a satirical representation of the Manila News Intelligencer headquarters in the Digital Age, with the theme 'Satire in Cyberspace'. The buildin21
Manila News-Intelligencer Paco Manila: Where Cemeteries Have Better Housing Than People – A representation of the Manila News Intelligencer headquarters in the Digital Age, with the theme ‘Satire in Cyberspace’.  

By Lourdes Tiu

Lourdes Tiu is a celebrated satirist with over a decade of experience, has been featured in major publications like Mad Magazine and The Onion for her incisive wit and has served as a keynote speaker at the National Satire Writers Conference, establishing her as a trusted authority in political and social satire. Lourdes' educational journey began at the University of Chicago, where she majored in Political Science, providing her with a deep understanding of the political landscape that she so brilliantly critiques in her work. She further honed her craft by completing a Master’s degree in Creative Writing from Columbia University, with a focus on satire and comedic writing, under the mentorship of some of the country’s most celebrated humorists.

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