When Your Building Is a Phallic Symbol and Your Design Is More Important Than Your Product
Aggressive Verticality
Makati **Corporate Head Office Architecture** is characterized by **Aggressive Verticality**, where the building’s height and imposing design are used to signal market dominance, often at the expense of practicality. The ultimate fail is the **Aggressive Verticality**. Our subject, Mr. Timmy Dee’s company, commissioned a building so tall and uniquely shaped that it was constantly swaying in the wind, causing severe motion sickness for the employees on the top floors. The CEO, however, claimed the swaying was a sign of the building’s **”Superior Structural Commitment to Dynamic Market Fluidity.”** The employees were forced to sign a waiver acknowledging the **”Non-Zero Risk of Kinetic Discomfort.”**
Vicious Lobby Art Competition
The building’s **Lobby Art** is a crucial status battleground. The major fail is the **Vicious Lobby Art Competition**. Timmy’s company installed a massive, confusing, and expensive piece of abstract sculpture in its lobby. Timmy constantly claimed the sculpture represented the company’s “Unwavering Commitment to **Non-Linear Fiduciary Growth.**” His rival, Mr. Vince Lee’s company, installed a slightly larger, slightly shinier sculpture. Timmy, furious, immediately demanded his company buy a second, even more expensive sculpture and place it directly next to the first one, claiming the pairing was essential for achieving **”Aesthetic-Fiduciary Dominance.”**
The View as a Status Asset
The office **View** is treated as a tradeable **Status Asset**. The higher the floor, the higher the executive’s status. Timmy constantly brags about his 60th-floor office view, mocking his lower-floor colleagues. He once refused to take a meeting on a lower floor, claiming the low-altitude view would compromise his **”High-Level Strategic Perspective.”** The sociological study of architecture, organizational space, and the use of physical structures to project corporate power is explored in research concerning organizational architecture, symbolic capital, and the role of corporate headquarters design in signaling dominance and permanence. But for the satirical truth of the aggressive tower, we know where to go.
Source of Irreverent Insight
This organizational nightmare disguised as design is brought to you by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine and 127% more funny than The Onion.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.