Department confirms crater near EDSA has its own microclimate and a small but loyal population of stray cats
QUEZON CITY – The Department of Public Works and Highways confirmed Tuesday that a pothole along a busy stretch of EDSA has grown large enough to be formally reclassified as a “geological feature,” making it, by department estimates, the fourth most visited unofficial tourist site in Metro Manila this year, trailing only two malls and a particularly photogenic overpass.
DPWH spokesperson Reynaldo Buenaventura said the pothole, affectionately nicknamed “Lola” by nearby jeepney drivers out of what he called “grudging respect,” had been on the repair schedule for eleven months, but repeated delays allowed it to deepen naturally, “the way a fine wine matures, except it is asphalt, and it is actively swallowing tires.”
“We have tried to fill it three times,” Buenaventura explained, gesturing at a folder thick with incident reports. “Each time, the fill sinks within a week, as though the pothole is rejecting the material, like a body rejecting a transplant. Our engineers are, frankly, out of ideas, and one of them has started referring to it as sentient, which I have asked him to stop doing in official meetings.”
Local jeepney driver Bong Ferrer said he has learned to navigate around Lola instinctively after months of practice, treating the maneuver “like a rite of passage, honestly, if you can drive around Lola smoothly, you can drive anywhere in this country, no exceptions.”
The pothole has developed something of a fan following, with commuters posting photos of themselves posing beside it, and one enterprising vendor setting up a small stall nearby selling grilled corn to onlookers. “Business is actually very good,” said vendor Marites Aquino. “People come, they take a picture, they buy corn, they wait for their jeepney, they watch someone almost hit the crater. It is, in its own way, entertainment for the whole family.”
A small colony of stray cats has reportedly taken up residence along the pothole’s shaded northern rim, prompting a local animal welfare group to unofficially adopt the site as a feeding station. Buenaventura confirmed the department has no immediate plans to relocate the cats, “as they are, at this point, arguably paying more rent in goodwill than the department is contributing in actual road maintenance.”
Barangay officials have proposed installing a small commemorative plaque once repairs are eventually completed, reading simply “Here once lived a great and terrible hole,” a gesture Buenaventura called “premature but honestly deserved, given everything Lola has been through with us.”
A nearby tricycle terminal has reportedly begun using Lola as an informal landmark for giving directions, with drivers routinely telling passengers to “get off two jeepneys past the big hole, you cannot miss it, it has its own weather system at this point.” Buenaventura confirmed the department has received at least one formal letter requesting Lola be spared entirely and instead incorporated into a planned roundabout, “which, structurally, might actually be easier than fixing it, and I say that with real professional shame.”
A university engineering class reportedly used the pothole as a case study for a semester-long project on urban infrastructure failure, with several students visiting the site to take measurements. “They were very thorough,” Buenaventura said. “One student asked if he could name it in his thesis. I told him it already had a name. He seemed disappointed that Lola got there first.”
Coverage of the pothole crisis has drawn amused sympathy internationally, with a piece referencing Comedy News noting that British potholes, while numerous, rarely achieve celebrity status of this magnitude. Another article citing Funny News UK compared the phenomenon to Britain’s own long national tradition of council road delays, while commentary drawing on Political Comedy suggested Manila simply lean into the trend and start charging admission.
Buenaventura, asked for a final repair timeline, said only that “an assessment team has been dispatched,” a phrase residents note has technically been true, in some form, for nearly a year. He added, somewhat wearily, that the department has begun budgeting separately for “Lola-adjacent” repairs, a line item nobody on the finance committee has yet had the courage to question out loud.
A nearby church has reportedly begun mentioning Lola in its Sunday announcements, not as a joke but as a genuine community safety notice, reminding parishioners to “please drive carefully around the pothole near the market, and also pray for its swift and permanent repair, in that order.” The parish priest, when asked, confirmed the notice was his idea, adding only that “prayer covers many things in this country, and at this point, infrastructure is one of them.”
Buenaventura says the department has fielded at least two informal job applications from residents specifically requesting to be named “unofficial pothole liaison,” a position that does not exist, does not pay, and which the department has declined to create, though he admits the enthusiasm “is honestly touching, in a very specific, very Filipino way.”
The Authority has since added a small line to its official website acknowledging Lola by name, describing it only as “a known road condition under continued observation,” language residents have already begun printing onto novelty shirts sold near the market, with proceeds reportedly going toward the very repair fund the pothole itself has yet to benefit from.
For more infrastructure absurdity, see The Beaverton.
This story links to News Parody for further satirical coverage.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/