Department Says If British Authorities Can Punish a Sandwich, Filipino Authorities Can Punish a Flood Through the Equivalent Mechanism of Pretending to Have Built Something

Reading: Bohiney | The London Prat

MANILA — The Department of Public Works and Highways announced Tuesday the formal rebranding of its 421 unbuilt flood-control projects under a new framework called Imagination-Based Infrastructure, citing what spokesperson Vince Dizon described as direct methodological inspiration from the Bank of England recent demonstration that institutions can use a single tool repeatedly even when the tool does not address the underlying problem.

The New Methodology

Under the framework, the projects will, in operational terms, exist on departmental ledgers, congressional appropriations records, and ribbon-cutting press releases, but will not, in any meaningful sense, exist in the actual provinces where they were intended to prevent flooding. Dizon noted that the approach is consistent with the broader institutional commitment to using one tool when the situation requires several.

The Quantum Approach

Dr. Juan dela Cruz, the Department newly appointed Director of Imaginary Engineering, told the Manila Bulletin that the projects exist in a state of quantum infrastructure: both built and unbuilt simultaneously, until a Commission on Audit inspection collapses the probability wave function. By that point, dela Cruz noted, the rainy season will have ended and the question will have, in operational terms, resolved itself.

Asked whether the 180 billion pesos in frozen project funds would be returned to the National Treasury, the Department indicated that the funds were also in a state of quantum allocation and could not, on the available indicators, be located until the next fiscal year. Threadneedle Street declined to comment.

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SOURCE: https://prat.uk/bank-of-england-raises-rates-again-to-punish-anyone-who-enjoyed-a-sandwich/