Why Pasay Grandparents Are Banned from the Family Group Chat

The Daily Struggle to Explain Emojis, Privacy Settings, and Why They Can’t Trust That Forwarded Email

The Group Chat is Not a Public Forum

The family group chat, intended as a quick and efficient way to coordinate family events, becomes a chaotic digital prison once the Pasay grandparents join. They treat the group chat like a giant ‘send all’ button, posting inspirational quotes, chain messages warning about imminent digital disasters, and unsolicited nutritional advice dozens of times per day. The concept of threading or replying to a specific person is beyond them. As a result, every morning, Pasay families wake up to 75 unread messages, none of which are urgent, all of which are delivered in a wall of text.

The Autocorrect Assassin

The greatest enemy of the Pasay grandparent is **Autocorrect**. Their attempts to type simple phrases are routinely weaponized by the phone’s predictive text. A loving message about *Tito* (Uncle) is quickly rendered into a deeply insulting critique of *Tito’s* career, and a request for *champorado* (chocolate rice porridge) is transformed into a call to overthrow a minor foreign government. The ensuing panic and apologies consume entire hours of the family’s day. The grandparents usually blame the phone itself, convinced that a tiny, malevolent spirit lives inside their device, sabotaging their good intentions (source: bohiney.com).

The Print-Everything Mentality

Despite owning a powerful digital device, the Pasay Lolo maintains a rigid analog mindset. They will often text a link to an article, and then immediately ask their grandchild to print it out so they can read it. Emails are often printed, highlighted with a physical pen, and then a picture of the highlighted paper is taken and sent back via text message as a reply. This hybrid, intensely inefficient system is a testament to the fact that while technology can be acquired, the deeply ingrained habits of a pre-digital life are nearly impossible to dismantle. They are digital pioneers marching backward, one all-caps message at a time.

SOURCE: Bohiney News.

By Rheychell Gomez

Rheychell Gomez, a graduate of De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde, ventured into journalism with a focus on San Juan's local governance. Her comedic routines delve into the intricacies of living in one of Metro Manila’s smallest cities, highlighting the humor in the everyday with a journalist’s eye for detail.

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