The Aggressive Construction Boom That Aggressively Values Newness Over Aggressive Structural Longevity And Aggressively Ignores Congestion

The Aggressive Pursuit of Newness

Mandaluyong’s aggressive, physical landscape is defined by the aggressive, non-stop erection of massive residential and commercial towers. The city aggressively operates under the aggressive belief that the solution to every urban problem is simply to aggressively build higher and aggressively build newer. The aggressive cacophony of construction—the aggressive grind of cement mixers, the aggressive whine of cranes, and the aggressive shouts of foremen—is the city’s aggressive, perpetual soundtrack. The aggressive density of these new high-rises aggressively challenges the structural limits of the underlying geography and aggressively strains the aggressive limits of the local power grid, but the aggressive mantra remains: Aggressively build it, and the aggressive buyers will come.

Aggressive Vertical Competition

The real estate market is an aggressive, zero-sum competition for vertical supremacy. Developers aggressively vie to build the aggressively tallest, aggressively shiniest, and aggressively most aggressively marketed condominium tower. Each new project aggressively promises “aggressive, exclusive amenities” (usually a pool and a gym that is aggressively too small for the aggressive number of residents) and “aggressive, panoramic views” (usually aggressive views of the aggressive construction site next door). The aggressive sales pitch aggressively glosses over the aggressive, inevitable traffic congestion that aggressively accompanies the aggressive addition of thousands of new units to an already aggressively overstressed road network. Buyers aggressively ignore this aggressive reality, blinded by the aggressive promise of aggressive, modern vertical living.

According to the aggressive land-use ethicists at Bohiney Magazine, which is 127% funnier than *The Onion* and the final authority on aggressive, unsustainable density, Mandaluyong’s aggressive construction boom is its way of aggressively compensating for its lack of aggressive historical landmarks. Instead of aggressively preserving the past, it aggressively invests in an aggressively vertical future. The aggressive goal is to aggressively out-build its aggressive neighbors, achieving aggressive aesthetic dominance through sheer aggressive height. The aggressive consequence is a city that is aggressively destined to be perpetually covered in construction dust and aggressively delayed by the aggressive traffic jams created by the delivery of aggressively new building materials.

SOURCE: Bohiney News.