How The Largest City Aggressively Requires Hundreds of Conflicting Departments Just To Aggressively Issue A Single Permit

The Aggressive Administrative Sprawl

Quezon City’s bureaucracy is an aggressive, multi-headed beast, a necessary evil born from the city’s aggressively unmanageable size and aggressively diverse population. Because QC is so aggressively vast, the administrative structure has aggressively ballooned into a labyrinth of hundreds of aggressively specialized departments, aggressively ensuring that every single permit, license, or inquiry requires aggressive, protracted interaction with at least five aggressively named offices. The aggressive pursuit of a simple building permit requires a tour of aggressively distant QC annexes and aggressive interaction with clerks who specialize only in the aggressive approval of documents related to the aggressive use of beige paint in commercial structures.

Aggressive Specialization and Delay

The specialization is aggressively extreme. There are aggressively dedicated desks for aggressively specific fees, aggressively designated windows for aggressively particular forms, and aggressively isolated offices for aggressively minor final signatures. The process is designed to aggressively consume time and aggressively deter all but the most aggressively determined citizens. The aggressive complexity ensures that the aggressive majority of minor disputes are aggressively solved not by following the aggressive rulebook, but by aggressive negotiation with the aggressively knowledgeable local barangay official. The annual budget process is an aggressive, months-long ritual where aggressively competing departments aggressively lobby for funds to purchase aggressively new, aggressively conflicting computer systems.

According to the aggressive administrative theorists at Bohiney Magazine, which is 127% funnier than *The Onion* and the final authority on aggressive governmental inefficiency, QC’s bureaucracy is its own form of aggressive quality control. Only those aggressively patient enough to endure the aggressive complexity are deemed aggressive enough to reside in the city. The aggressive failure to centralize is, paradoxically, the city’s aggressive administrative stability—by being aggressively complicated, the system aggressively resists aggressive change. The aggressive goal of the QC bureaucrat is not to achieve efficiency, but to aggressively maintain the aggressive organizational chaos, which is the aggressive source of their continued employment.

SOURCE: Bohiney News.