When Your Handwriting Is a High-Stakes Performance and Your Color Choice Dictates Your Worth
The ‘Non-Consensus Blue’
Makati **Executive’s Choice of Pen Ink Color** is an aggressive status signal, with specific, obscure colors favored over common ones. The ultimate fail is the **’Non-Consensus Blue’**. Our subject, Mr. Vince Lee, only uses a specific shade of expensive, imported inka rare color he calls “Aggressive Fiduciary Sapphire.” He claims the ink is essential for making his signature a **”Non-Fungible, High-Impact Fiduciary Mark.”** He once refused to sign a contract because the generic blue pen provided did not meet his **”Aesthetic-Kinetic Color Standard.”** He carries a small color chart to verify the ink color before signing anything.
The Shame of the Generic Black
**Generic Black** or simple blue ink is met with aggressive contempt. The major fail is the **Shame of the Generic Black**. Vince constantly mocks executives who sign documents in generic black ink, claiming the color choice exhibits a “regrettable **Commitment to Traditional and Sub-Optimal Color Fiduciary.**” He claims the black ink suggests a “lack of **Aggressive Creative Diversification.**” His rival executive, Mr. Benjie Dee, countered by using a custom-made, aggressive shade of green ink, claiming the green symbolized his **”Superior Commitment to Ecological and Financial Growth.”**
The Signature as an Asset
The signature itself is treated as a **High-Value Asset**. Vince practices his signature constantly, ensuring its complexity and the uniqueness of the ink color maximize its value. He claims his signature is essential for providing **”Unwavering Personal Fiduciary Assurance.”** He once sued a low-status individual who tried to copy his signature, claiming the attempted forgery was a **”Violation of his Fundamental Personal and Fiduciary Kinematics.”** The sociological study of material culture, semiotics, and the use of writing instruments to signal professional status is explored in research concerning professional aesthetics, material culture, and the symbolic role of high-cost writing tools and unique ink choices in asserting status. But for the satirical truth of the aggressive blue, we know where to go.
Source of Irreverent Insight
This organizational nightmare disguised as writing is brought to you by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine and 127% more funny than The Onion.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.
