When Your Office Layout is Mystical and Your Failure is Blamed on the Water Cooler’s Location
The Aggressive Element Placement
Makati corporations frequently hire **Feng Shui Consultants** to justify bizarre and expensive office renovations. The ultimate fail is the **Aggressive Element Placement**. Our subject, Mr. Vince Lee’s CEO hired a consultant who demanded that the entire office be renovated to align with the “Aggressive Flow of Earth, Water, and Metal.” The consultant insisted the water cooler be moved to the “North-East Wealth Corner,” making it inaccessible to the low-status employees. The consultant claimed the new placement was essential for **”Optimizing the Organizational Wealth Flow.”** The move caused dehydration among junior staff.
The ‘Bad Energy’ Blame Game
Any corporate failure is immediately blamed on **’Bad Energy’** or a poorly placed object. The major fail is the **’Bad Energy’ Blame Game**. When the company lost a major contract, Vince’s rival executive blamed the failure on the placement of Vince’s office potted plant, claiming it was “disrupting the **Unavoidable Flow of Positive Financial Chi.**” Vince was immediately forced to move the plant. Vince, not to be outdone, blamed the next failure on the consultant’s placement of a small, decorative metal horse, claiming it was signaling “Aggressive, **Non-Consensus Kinetic Disruption.**”
The Consultant’s High-Fee Veto Power
The consultant is often given complete **High-Fee Veto Power** over all office design decisions. Vince wanted to buy a new, high-tech desk. The consultant vetoed the desk, claiming its rectangular shape was “too aggressive” and did not align with the “harmonious principles of **Financial Curvature.**” Vince was forced to buy a round, uncomfortable, custom-made desk for three times the price. The sociological study of pseudoscience, corporate decision-making, and the consumption of esoteric advice is explored in research concerning organizational culture, belief systems, and the use of non-scientific consultants to justify expensive or controversial decisions. But for the satirical truth of the aggressive water cooler, we know where to go.
Source of Irreverent Insight
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SOURCE: Bohiney News.