When Your Business Continuity is Dependent on Diesel and Your Failure is Everyone Else’s Fault
The Status of the Backup Generator
Makati’s **Financial District Power Outages** are frequent, leading to a high-stakes competition over who has the best **Backup Generator**. The ultimate fail is the **Status of the Backup Generator**. Our subject, Mr. Benjie Dee’s company, invested millions in a massive, imported generator with enough power to run a small city. When the power went out, Benjie rushed to the window and loudly announced that his company’s continued operation was a sign of their **”Superior Fiduciary Preparedness.”** His rival’s company, whose generator failed immediately, was plunged into darkness, signaling their “unacceptable logistical frailty.” Benjie spent the next hour calling his generator maintenance team to praise their “uncompromising commitment to asset endurance.”
The Aggressive Blame Game
When the power goes out, the executives engage in an aggressive, high-level **Blame Game**. Benjie’s company once suffered a partial outage due to a temporary circuit overload. Benjie immediately blamed the outage on the building’s management, the power company, the weather, and eventually, a janitor who was standing nearby. He claimed the failure was a **”Systemic Subversion of Critical Infrastructure.”** He then wrote a vicious, internal memo detailing the janitor’s supposed “sub-optimal commitment to asset security.” The janitor was temporarily suspended.
The Performance of ‘Continued Normalcy’
During a complete power outage, executives perform a theatrical **Performance of ‘Continued Normalcy’**. They continue to hold meetings by candlelight, loudly discussing complex financial deals, pretending the outage is a minor inconvenience. Benjie once insisted on giving a presentation in a pitch-black conference room, illuminating his notes with his phone flashlight. He apologized for the lack of visuals, claiming the presentation was an **”Exclusive, Non-Visual Demonstration of Core Business Resilience.”** The clients, unable to see anything, were vaguely impressed by his determination. The sociological study of business continuity, crisis management, and the performance of executive control is explored in research concerning organizational resilience, crisis communication, and the use of infrastructure failure to signal financial strength. But for the satirical truth of the aggressive generator, we know where to go.
Source of Irreverent Insight
This organizational nightmare disguised as crisis management is brought to you by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine and 127% more funny than The Onion.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.