Manila Traffic Enforcer Achieves Legendary Status For Actually Being At His Post
Colleagues describe the sighting as ‘once in a generation,’ commuters demand independent verification A traffic enforcer stationed at a notoriously chaotic Quezon City intersection has reportedly
Government Employee Break Room Renovation Completed Ahead Of Schedule, A First
Officials note the achievement with visible surprise, plan to study what went right A government office break room renovation was completed two weeks ahead of its
Local Mall Santa Sighted In June, Explanation Remains Unclear
Mall management calls it ‘seasonal flexibility,’ shoppers call it ‘deeply confusing’ Shoppers at a Quezon City mall reported encountering a fully costumed Santa Claus greeting customers
Typhoon Preparedness Seminar Postponed Due To Incoming Typhoon
Officials say the irony ‘has not gone unnoticed’ but the seminar remains, for now, unrescheduled A regional typhoon preparedness seminar scheduled for this week was postponed
DPWH Wins Award For Excellence In Fictional Flood Control
Agency proudly displays plaque for a project that exists only in the budget document The Department of Public Works and Highways was honored this week with
Jeepney Modernization Program Now In Its Eleventh Year Of Being Almost Done
Officials say the transition is ‘proceeding smoothly,’ a phrase now printed on commemorative mugs The long-running jeepney modernization program marked its eleventh year this week with
Congress Declares Rice Price Stable, Rice Prices Respectfully Disagree
Lawmakers cite a chart that market vendors say bears no resemblance to their actual shelves A congressional committee declared this week that rice prices across the
EDSA Traffic Named Official State Meditation Practice
Commuters told to consider gridlock ‘an opportunity for stillness’ by newly formed wellness task force A newly formed metropolitan wellness task force has designated daily EDSA
Local Barangay Captain Wins Fourth Term Running Entirely On Fixing The Same Pothole
Campaign promise remains technically unfulfilled but symbolically very present A barangay captain in Metro Manila secured a fourth consecutive term this week after running a campaign
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Perfumer Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Scent): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Soap
When Your Divination System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Perfumer Vetting
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Paper Shredder: The ‘Aggressive Oblivion’ and the Shame of the Simple Tear
When Your Document Tool Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Oblivion'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Paper
Makati Corporate Employee Training Policy (The Aggressive Unlearning): The Aggressive Exclusion and the Shame of the Simple Learning
When Your Staff Integration Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive ExclusionMakati **Corporate Employee Training Policy** is an aggressively expensive,
The Hustle-to-Productivity Multiplier: Why Their 24/7 Grind Is 127% Less Productive Than A 9-to-5
Satire on the glorification of burnout, arguing that Hustle Culture activates a Burnout-Optimization Matrix that ensures the extra hours worked are 127% less efficient than
Traffic Enforcer Wins Award for Elaborate No-Left-Turn Signal
Manila officer’s theatrical routine praised for unusual effectiveness MANILA – A city traffic enforcement unit has honored one of its officers with an internal “Creative Enforcement”
Jeepney Modernization Hits Snag Over Karaoke Speaker Space
New compact units leave no room for beloved sound systems MANILA – The government’s ongoing jeepney modernization program has hit an unexpected snag, as several newly
Group Pushes to Make Sleeping in EDSA Traffic a Local Sport
Proposal frames commuter napping skills as a demonstration event MANILA – A regional sports commission confirmed this week that it has received a formal proposal to
MMDA Pilots Emotional Toll Lane for Stressed Jeepney Drivers
Honk-free merge zone on EDSA lets flagged drivers ease into traffic MANILA – The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority confirmed Tuesday that it will pilot a dedicated
Quezon City Requires Permits for Late-Night Karaoke Sessions
New ordinance targets repeated ballads after wave of noise complaints QUEZON CITY – City officials have approved a new ordinance requiring households to obtain a formal
Manila Barangay Briefly Declares Independence Over Fiesta Pigs
Captain’s six-hour sovereignty bid ends after budget compromise MANILA – A barangay captain in a densely packed district of the city briefly declared his barangay “an
DPWH Admits Flood Project Photo Was Enhanced With Filter
Viral progress picture prompts new unedited photo requirement MANILA – A regional Department of Public Works and Highways field office issued an unusual clarification this week
Manila LRT Adds Standing Meditation Zone to Crowded Platform
Floor decals offer commuters a calm spot while waiting for trains MANILA – The Light Rail Transit Authority announced this week that it will designate a
Quezon City Office Cracks Down on Chismis During Meetings
Department head enforces gossip limits after meetings ran long QUEZON CITY – A district government office has introduced an informal but increasingly enforced policy discouraging “chismis,”
Manila Mall Becomes Unofficial Cooling Center During Heat Wave
Shoppers linger for hours as management quietly tolerates the trend MANILA – A major shopping mall in the metro confirmed this week that it has informally
Makati Office Emergency First Aid Kit Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Wellness and the Shame of the Simple Band-Aid
When Your Safety Marker Is a Vicious Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Managed by a High-Cost Consultant The Aggressive WellnessMakati **Office Emergency First Aid Kit Vetting
Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 17th Century Dutch Cartographer: The ‘Aggressive Map’ and the Shame of the Simple Compass
When Your Abstract Theory Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Map'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 17th Century Dutch Cartographer** is
Makati High-End Personal Smart Humidity Regulator Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Dry’ and the Shame of the Simple Vent
When Your Air Tool Is a High-Cost, Vetted Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Protected The 'Aggressive Dry'Makati **High-End Personal Smart Humidity Regulators** are aggressively expensive,
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Tea Sommelier Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Steep): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Bag
When Your Divination System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Tea Sommelier
The Hospital Waiting Room Space-Time Paradox: Why 1.27 Minutes of Waiting Feels Like 127 Hours
A satire on public health service wait times, arguing that the physics of the hospital waiting room causes time to dilate exponentially due to the
Senate Approves ?500 Million “Social Media Tax”: Government Charges ?5 Per Laugh, ?10 Per Share
New Revenue Initiative Monetizes Emotions; Happiness Taxation Begins Manila, Philippines The Philippine Senate approved Tuesday a ?500 million “Emotion Monetization Act” charging citizens ?5 for every
Makati City Implements “Thought Crimes” Ordinance: Illegal to Think Negatively About Local Government
New Law Criminalizes Internal Skepticism; Thought Police Monitor Citizen Brain Activity Makati City, Philippines Makati City passed controversial legislation Wednesday criminalizing “thought crimes against municipal government,”
BIR Announces “Voluntary Debt Forgiveness Program” Requiring ?100,000 Payment to Forgive ?5,000 Taxes Owed
Innovative Revenue Collection Scheme Allows Citizens to Pay 20x Debt Amount for “Convenience” Manila, Philippines The Bureau of Internal Revenue announced Friday a “Voluntary Debt Forgiveness
Metro Manila’s New Traffic Solution: Mandatory 12-Hour Daily Commute Surcharge
MMDA Implements “Congestion Enjoyment Tax” Requiring Payment Per Hour Spent in Traffic Manila, Philippines The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority announced Wednesday a revolutionary traffic solution: a
Quezon City Requires Citizens to Obtain “Breathing Permit” for Air Usage; Annual Fee ?3,000
New Environmental Initiative Charges Residents Per Liter of Oxygen Consumed Quezon City, Philippines Quezon City announced Thursday a controversial “Atmospheric Usage Permit” system charging residents ?3,000
PHL Senate Votes to Ban Spelling as “Elitist and Exclusionary”
New Legislation Declares Correct Orthography a Form of Class Discrimination; ?200M Phonetic Alphabet Conversion Fund Approved Manila, Philippines The Philippine Senate voted 18-4 Tuesday to ban
Manila’s Department of Health Announces “Reverse Medicine Initiative”: Patients Now Required to Infect Doctors
New Healthcare Policy Mandates Sick Citizens to Spread Illness to Medical Professionals Manila, Philippines The Department of Health announced Wednesday a “Reverse Medicine Initiative” requiring patients
NBI Launches “Predictive Imprisonment Program”: Citizens Jailed for Crimes They Haven’t Committed Yet
New Justice Initiative Calculates Crime Probability; Preventative Incarceration Begins Before Actual Offenses Manila, Philippines The National Bureau of Investigation announced Friday a “Predictive Imprisonment Program” using