Manila News

Quiapo, Manila—Sacred Prayers, Fake Diplomas, and Traffic-Based Enlightenment Bohiney Insight into Quiapo, ManilaQuiapo, Manila—Sacred Prayers, Fake Diplomas, and Traffic-Based Enlightenment1. Quiapo is where you can buy

Pagasa Monitors Low-Pressure Area Outside PAR; Citizens Advised to Carry Umbrellas and Emotional Support Animals By the Forecasting Fools of bohiney.com Where the forecast is mostly cloudy

Working Student Wanted for Child Abuse Arrested; Claims He Was Just “Practicing for a Role in a Teleserye” By the Dramaturgical Deputies at bohiney.com Serving scenes, satire,

Schools Add “Mandatory Tumbling” to Curriculum In partnership with DepEd, public schools will implement a new subject: Physical Civics: National Gymnastics & Patriotism. Final exam: one

Trump Unveils Tariffs on 3 Trade Partners; Philippines Responds by Exporting More “Jeprox” Music By the Retro Economists of bohiney.com Because when the economy tanks, you might

EU-Philippines Security Dialogue: Agrees to Combat Cyber Threats with Memes and Emojis The unlikely alliance against hackers, trolls, and bad grammar—powered by LOLs and 🤣 In a

Thomas Markle Moves to Cebu: Locals Confuse Him for Santa Claus on Vacation An exposé on royalty, roasted pork, and retirement in the tropics Bohiney Insight into

BINI’s World Tour Causes Traffic Jam: Fans Camp Out, Mistake Concert for Religious Pilgrimage An investigation into Filipino pop, traffic theology, and the gospel of girl

Philippines’ Marine Heatwave Blamed on Too Many Hot Takes on Social Media An exposé on how clout-chasing influencers are boiling the oceans and broiling the fish Bohiney

Kanlaon Volcano Erupts Again: Tourists Flock for ‘Natural Fireworks Show’ Philippine Disaster or New Tourism Trend? Filipinos Say “Both!” Insight into Volcanic Party Planning Tourists thought the

Philippines and U.S. Conduct Joint Drills: Locals Mistake War Games for Beach Party A deep dive into banana boats, missile envy, and karaoke diplomacy Bohiney Insight into

China Warns EU: 'Stay Out of South China Sea or Face TikTok Bans' A Bohiney Exclusive on Digital Diplomacy, Meme Warfare, and the Geopolitics of Cringe Insight

Manny Pacquiao Returns to Boxing Ring After Senate Loss: Plans to Punch His Way Back into Politics — Satirical Journalism from the Ringside of Filipino Democracy Insight

Philippines' Cabinet Reshuffle: Musical Chairs Declared New National Sport Featuring the wit of Vice Ganda, Michael V, and Empoy Marquez Insight into Philippine Political Athletics Filipino Cabinet

Manila's Latest Craze: The Great Garbage Reef – A Tourist Attraction Like No Other! Welcome, eco-adventurers and satire enthusiasts, to Manila's most unconventional attraction yet –

China’s Trust Deficit: A 76-Year Saga of Red Flags, Broken Promises, and Mysteriously Missing Maps Beijing’s New Motto: “Who, Us? We Were Just Lending You a

MMDA Reports Fewer Traffic Violations with NCAP; Drivers Now Offending 'Emotionally' Instead By the Sentiment Analysts of bohiney.com Because in Metro Manila, the traffic doesn’t just stop

Manila Declares August 4 as Carlos Yulo Day; Citizens Required to Perform Backflips in Celebration By the Tumbling Typists at bohiney.com We don’t just cover news—we somersault

Dela Rosa Claims Security Detail Pulled; Now Relies on “Guard Dog” Named “Barky” for Protection By the Canine Correspondents of bohiney.com We sniff out the truth, mark

KoJC Compound Revealed as Maze of Secret Passages; Authorities Suspect It's an Escape Room Gone Wrong By the Spiritually Confused Correspondents at bohiney.comWhere prophecy meets parody

Vice President's Security Men Face Court Martial; Claim They Were Just Following "Hide and Seek" Protocols By the Disciplinary Jokers at bohiney.com Uncovering the blind spots of

MMDA Introduces 20 New EDSA Rerouting Schemes; Motorists Now Required to Use Waze, Compass, and Tarot Cards By the Transportation Mediums of bohiney.comGuiding lost souls through

Valenzuela Police Chief Arrests Woman Selling Fake IDs; Discovers His Own Was Among Them By the satirical sleuths of bohiney.com Truth isn’t just stranger than fiction—it’s got

Sara Duterte’s Impeachment Trial Delayed Again: Senate Cites “Netflix Binge-Watching” as Primary Reason By the staff of bohiney.comPhilippines' most trusted source for exaggerated nonsense and journalistic

Welcome to the urban jungle of Metro Manila, where the sidewalks aren't just paths but stages for an impromptu game of pedestrian ping pong. Here's

EDSA Unveiled: Navigating the Whimsical World of the World's Most Unique Traffic Jam Welcome to EDSA, where the term "rush hour" is a misnomer, and the

The Ultimate Guide to Gaining Weight Abroad: A Filipino's Handbook Welcome, young Pinays, to the ultimate guide on a phenomenon sweeping the nation—or rather, sweeping Filipinas

Manila's Next Top Model: The Pothole Catwalk Edition How to Win the Manila Supermodel Pothole Challenge Dive into the chaotic charm of Manila's Next Top Model, where

How to Win the "Motorcycle Capsule Wardrobe Challenge": A Satirical Guide Welcome, young fashion rebels and storage box strategists! Are you ready to embark on the

Pollution Glow: When the Smog Clears, Beauty Emerges In a world obsessed with detox teas and air purifiers, a groundbreaking skincare line is taking the beauty

Metro Manila's Latest Fashion Craze: Rain Boots that Match with Evening Gowns During Typhoon Season In a city where the weather is as unpredictable as the