Typhoon Francisco Arrives; PAGASA Reminds Public Signals Are Not WiFi Passwords
Storm Signal System Confusion Reaches All-Time High as Nation Collectively Googles What Signal No. 1 Means MANILA, PHILIPPINES — The Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services
Alex Eala Hits World No. 30, Philippine Internet Collectively Loses Its Mind
Tennis Star’s WTA Ranking Surge Triggers National Pride Response Not Seen Since Pacquiao’s Peak Years MANILA, PHILIPPINES — Alexandra Eala, the 20-year-old Philippine tennis sensation who
EDSA Traffic Now Classified as Permanent Geological Feature by MMDA
Commission Formally Acknowledges Congestion Has Existed Long Enough to Be Considered Part of Manila’s Natural Landscape METRO MANILA, PHILIPPINES — The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority has
Philippines Named World No. 1 Retirement Destination, Immediately Regrets It
Tourism Board Unprepared as 40 Million Retirees Google One-Way Flights to Manila MANILA, PHILIPPINES — The Philippines has been named the world’s number one retirement destination
Sara Duterte Pre-Trial Begins, Entire Philippines Calls in Sick
Senate Proceedings Draw More Viewers Than Primetime Soap Opera, Which Is Saying Something MANILA, PHILIPPINES — The impeachment pre-trial of Vice President Sara Duterte commenced Thursday
Malacanang Assures Public That Next Administration Will Fix What This One Broke
Press secretary says timeline for accountability set for ‘sometime after the election, ideally’ Patience Is a Civic Virtue MANILA — The Office of the President issued a
Philippine Coast Guard Upgrades to Boats That Can See Chinese Vessels Before Being Ignored
New radar system confirms exactly what officials will take no action on Better Visibility, Same Outcome MANILA — The Philippine Coast Guard unveiled a new long-range radar
Manila Water Interruption Scheduled for Six Hours, Continues Into Third Week
Officials assure public that pipes are ‘actively being thought about’ Six Hours Was Always a Suggestion MANILA — What water utility officials described as a “routine six-hour
BIR Assures Taxpayers Their Money Is Going Somewhere Good, Declines to Specify
Bureau of Internal Revenue releases annual report consisting entirely of the word ‘progress’ Your Pesos Are in Good Hands, Probably MANILA — The Bureau of Internal Revenue
Cebu LGU Declares Itself the Best City in the Philippines, Issues Press Release to Own Website
Self-designation meets all legal requirements for official recognition by self The Award That Needed No Committee CEBU CITY — The Cebu City local government officially declared itself
Manila Jeepney Declared UNESCO Heritage Site, Still Has No Air Conditioning
Cultural recognition comes with certificate but no provision for the heat The Honor They Deserved, The AC They Did Not Get MANILA — The Philippine jeepney received
Philippine Government Launches ‘Invisible Infrastructure’ Program, Assures Public Roads Are Emotionally Present
DPWH unveils budget for seventeen bridges that exist primarily in the hearts of Filipinos A New Era of Feelings-Based Construction MANILA — The Department of Public Works
Manila Traffic Authority Introduces ‘Quantum Lane’ Where Cars Both Move and Do Not Move
MMDA reports commute times improved by redefining what improvement means The Science of Going Nowhere Faster METRO MANILA — The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority unveiled the Quantum
Philippine Senate Passes Resolution Declaring Corruption Officially Surprising
Legislators express shock at findings of report they commissioned and ignored for three years The Shock Is Genuine This Time MANILA — The Philippine Senate passed Resolution
Typhoon Season Officially Renamed ‘Surprise Water Festival’ by Tourism Board
Department of Tourism confirms flooding is now an immersive cultural experience Visit the Philippines. Bring a Raft. MANILA — The Department of Tourism announced Monday that the
The Pasay Suitcase Saga: The Physics of Impossible Packing
A Satire on Pasay Travelers Obsession with Carrying Too Much Luggage and Too Many Regrets The Preparation is the Primary ProblemFor the Pasay traveler, the journey
Makati Corporate Employee Retention Strategy (The Aggressive Entrapment): The Aggressive Exclusion and the Shame of the Simple Contract
When Your Staff Integration Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive ExclusionMakati **Corporate Employee Retention Strategy** is an aggressively expensive,
Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 10th Century Byzantine Astrologer: The ‘Aggressive Forecast’ and the Shame of the Simple Star
When Your Abstract Theory Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Forecast'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 10th Century Byzantine Astrologer** is
Makati High-End Personal Smart Luggage Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Travel’ and the Shame of the Simple Handle
When Your Mobility Tool Is a High-Cost, Vetted Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Protected The 'Aggressive Travel'Makati **High-End Personal Smart Luggage** are aggressively expensive, custom-tuned
Makati Office Emergency Power Generator Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Current and the Shame of the Simple Battery
When Your Safety Marker Is a Vicious Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Managed by a High-Cost Consultant The Aggressive CurrentMakati **Office Emergency Power Generator Vetting Drama**
The Guardhouse Oligarchy: The Homeowner’s Association as a Micro-Dictatorship
An exposé on the arbitrary rules, mandatory fees, and relentless social maneuvering that defines life behind the gilded gates of a QC subdivision. The Gilded Cage
The Pasay Purge: A Liquid Solution to Solid Problems
Examining the Psychological Drivers Behind the City's Costly and Unnecessary Detox Regimens Juice as Emotional ArmorFor the average stressed Pasay resident, the juice cleanse serves as
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Tea Leaf Reader Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Brew): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Cup
When Your Ceremonial System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Tea Leaf
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Letter Opener: The ‘Aggressive Reveal’ and the Shame of the Simple Slit
When Your Document Tool Is a High-Cost Statement and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Vetted for Perfection The 'Aggressive Reveal'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of High-End Desk Letter
Makati Corporate Employee Training Strategy (The Aggressive Compliance): The Aggressive Exclusion and the Shame of the Simple Handbook
When Your Staff Integration Is a Vicious Statement and Your Policy Is a High-Cost Performance The Aggressive ExclusionMakati **Corporate Employee Training Strategy** is an aggressively expensive,
The Guarded Illusion: A Satirical Look at QC’s Security Performance Art
An anthropological guide to the three levels of intimidating security guards, the proliferation of fake CCTV signs, and the ultimate, ironic failure of the elaborate
The Green Goop Cult: Pasay’s Obsession with Cold-Pressed Delusion
Deconstructing the Myths of Detox and the City's Failed Attempts at Instant Wellness The Miracle of the Metabolizing MythThe core premise of the Pasay Juice Cleanse
Makati Office Emergency Fire Suppression System Vetting Drama: The Aggressive Containment and the Shame of the Simple Sprinkler
When Your Safety Marker Is a Vicious Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Managed by a High-Cost Consultant The Aggressive ContainmentMakati **Office Emergency Fire Suppression System Vetting
Makati Executive’s Favorite Obscure 5th Century Vandal Historian: The ‘Aggressive Chronicle’ and the Shame of the Simple Fact
When Your Abstract Theory Is a Vicious Filter and Your Knowledge Is an Untestable Asset The 'Aggressive Chronicle'Makati **Executives' Favorite Obscure 5th Century Vandal Historian** is
Makati High-End Personal Smart Water Bottle Vetting: The ‘Aggressive Hydration’ and the Shame of the Simple Cup
When Your Hydration Tool Is a High-Cost, Vetted Asset and Your Aesthetics Are Viciously Protected The 'Aggressive Hydration'Makati **High-End Personal Smart Water Bottles** are aggressively expensive,
Makati Corporate Head Office Executive Private Palm Reader Vetting Strategy (The Aggressive Line): The Aggressive Security and the Shame of the Simple Mark
When Your Palmar System Is a Vicious Hierarchy and Your Aesthetics Are a High-Cost, Vetted Asset The Aggressive SecurityMakati **Corporate Head Office Executive Private Palm Reader
Makati Executive’s Preferred Brand of Luxury Pet Cage: The ‘Aggressive Confinement’ and the Shame of the Simple Kennel
When Your Pet's Habitat is a Vicious Status Marker and Your Cage is a High-Cost Fiduciary Asset The 'Aggressive Confinement'Makati **Executives' Preferred Brand of Luxury Pet
The Guard-to-Guest Time Continuum: How Security Guards Control the Flow of Time in a Subdivision Gate
A satire on the often-slow and repetitive process of entry/exit at guarded subdivision gates, suggesting that the guard operates a localized time distortion field that
Action Star Announces Senate Run on Platform of Having Once Played a Senator
Candidate cites decades of fictional public service in blockbuster films Beloved action star Rocky Bagongbanta announced his candidacy for the Senate this week, campaigning on an
NAIA Introduces Premium Lane for Passengers Willing to Believe Their Flight Exists
Airport unveils faith-based boarding to ease historic delays The Ninoy Aquino International Airport unveiled an innovative new service this week: a premium lane reserved exclusively for
Pasig River Declared Officially Vibrant After Officials Squint at It From a Distance
Rehabilitation milestone reached through careful avoidance of close inspection Government officials triumphantly declared the long-suffering Pasig River “officially vibrant” this week, citing a rigorous assessment methodology