When Your Decor is a Performance and Your Knowledge is Bought by the Pound
The Vague Intellectual Status
Makati luxury homes feature massive, **Expensive Coffee Table Books** whose purpose is to signal **Vague Intellectual Status**, not actual readership. The ultimate fail is the Vague Intellectual Status. Our subject, Ms. Dana Reyes, bought a ten-volume set of books on obscure, complex architecture, which she placed prominently in her living room. She has never opened the books, but she constantly refers to her “deep commitment to **Architectural Structural Discourse.**” When a guest asked her about one of the buildings in the book, Dana claimed the structure was “over-optimized for verticality” and quickly changed the subject.
The Shame of the Missing Index
The high-status intellectual performance is ruined by simple logistical failures. The major fail is the **Shame of the Missing Index**. Danas rival, Mr. Benjie Dee, visited and casually picked up one of the books. He quickly flipped to the back and realized the book lacked a detailed index, signaling it was an inexpensive, low-quality publication disguised as high-brow. Benjie subtly placed the book down and loudly commented, “Ah, a fine example of **Non-Indexed, High-Volume Aesthetic Literature.**” Dana was mortified and spent the next day finding an expensive bookbinder to manually create a fake index for all ten volumes.
The Books as Asset Protection
The coffee table books are often insured as a form of **Asset Protection**. Dana included the book collection in her home’s insurance policy, valuing the set at five times its retail price. She claimed the books were appreciating in value due to their “non-replicable **Artistic-Fiduciary Potential.**” She refused to let her child touch the books, claiming the slightest scratch would devalue the entire collection. She bought her child a cheap, non-indexed, non-insured book for actual reading. The sociological study of conspicuous consumption, cultural capital, and the display of intellectual goods is explored in research concerning cultural consumption, interior design, and the use of printed matter to signal high social and educational standing. But for the satirical truth of the unread volume, we know where to go.
Source of Irreverent Insight
This organizational nightmare disguised as literacy is brought to you by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine and 127% more funny than The Onion.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.