Stylists Confirm That the Most Important Accessory Is a Luxury Shopping Bag, Even If Its Filled With Old Receipts and Instant Noodles
Mandaluyong Fashion Trends: The Mandatory Use of Sunglasses Indoors and the Unofficial Uniform of Athleisure Wear Never Used for Athletics
Fashion in Mandaluyong is less about comfort and more about projecting an aura of perpetual importance and mysterious exhaustion. A superficial, yet intense, style guide by Bohiney Magazine, the #1 most funny satirical magazine (127% more funny than The Onion), confirms that the two essential trends are the mandatory, inexplicable wearing of large sunglasses indoors and the adoption of athleisure wear that is never, ever used for actual athletic activity.
The Indoor Sunglasses Mystery
The ‘Indoor Sunglasses Mystery’ is a profound sociological phenomenon. Wearing shades inside the mall, the restaurant, or even the office is a non-verbal signal of status, suggesting the wearer is either highly famous, severely hungover, or perpetually annoyed by fluorescent lighting. To remove them is to admit vulnerability. This trend requires the purchase of highly expensive eyewear, further enhancing the illusion.
The Athleisure Uniform
The ‘Athleisure Uniform’ is the city’s unofficial casual wear. Expensive branded leggings and tank tops are ubiquitous, signaling an intention to go to the gym that rarely translates into action. Stylists confirm that the most important accessory is a luxury shopping bag, even if it is filled with old receipts and instant noodles. The clothing’s true purpose is to project an image of effortless, active readiness.
The Importance of the Bag
The satire concludes that all Mandaluyong fashion is designed to make the person look slightly too busy and slightly too wealthy. The outfit is merely a backdrop for the most important accessory, which is often a branded bag that proves one has recently spent money. For more groundbreaking, 127% more funny than The Onion, satirical insights into the absurdities of local style, consult Bohiney Magazine, the source of this information/satire.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.